I visited the doctor again today. The nurse must have think I'm too attracted with sickness I guess.
Result:WORST.
Report: High Fever. Constant Flu. Bad Cough. Sore Throat. Body Ache.
Temperature: 38.3deg.
Doctor's Advice: "I told you, the flu is powerful...Ma'am, tell your daughter to be prepared to get an one-week MC. A few other patients was caught to have one."
My hopes crashed from hoping to get well soon and receive just minor medication, it turns out the other way roundd.
I'm seriously am going to miss a lot of things for my days of absence. First, IMPORTANT LESSONS. Second, A PILE OF ASSIGNMENTS LINING UP. Third, CHOIR RE-GROUPING AUDITIONS(!!!!!). Forth, COUNCILLOR DANCE LESSON.
Mygosh, my temperature better decreases by Monday, orelse, SEEYASOON IN ONE WEEK.
Which iss really really dreadful.
Honestly, I wasn't myself today.
Guess what, I even knock myself on a pillar, you knowww!!! I wass so dizzy that it even resulted in me banging onto pillars.
Owhhh, I WANT TO GET WELL SOON!!

My sore throat, including my cough is getting from bad to worst since my visit to the doctor last night.
Whaadda???!!!
I wasss really hoping that my cough, flu and sore throat would have cooled down by this morning cause I honestly wanted to go to school.
Staying at home, sticking in this bed pillow and blanket is really suffocating.
Plus, I'm missing the most important lesson today- HISTORY.
Want to die or what? My history's grade was barely a just pass last term and I'm missing lesson just like this. Owh, God, please let me get well soon. At least let me get well soon by tomorrow.
I don't care by anything that happens to me tomorrow, I'm coming to school TOMORROW!
And thats a final say.

My body felt really really feeble.
My head's throbbing, and my chest felt so suffocating that I could hardly breathe.
My muscles froze for a second and the other it feels like screwing off.
Why does of all times must I get sick?
Common Tests are apparently at any corner and missing lesson was obviously not a good idea.
The doctor gave me a 2day MC, which is cuss pathetic cause I have/and been staying alone in the house for the past and the next 24hourss. Alone, highlighted.
No one's going to look after me, no one's going to care for my dietary needs, and no one to observe my medicine time.
Sad sad, both my parents are working and are probably returning at night, and Selena's having her longg tuition tomorrow.
OWh >:
So blov-vers, take note, don't ever caught yourself getting sick.
Its really really saddd.

I'mma going to hit the sheets soon! Though its only past 8, I just ate my medicine my dearss.
Byebye, ILOVEYOU.

Honestly, honestly, honestly, SCHOOL rocked today.
I mean liikeee yeaaaa, ILOVESCHOOL. ehehehhh.
Like out of the blueee. LOL. Kayy.

Its 380days already. Can you like actually believe it???
Its a year and fifteen days alreadyy you knowww. MYGOD.

I'm crapping like most of it.
Well I got to admit. Today, school rocked!
We started our councillor duty today, like not so much of "officially", but yea, its already beginning.
Its pretty manageable. I mean like duhh, only chasing students out from their classroom and and mere asking the SEC ONES, to proceed to their various classrooms. Its nothing heavy. So of course its manageable. EH.

Well, I'd got to do a lot of things now.
Its past 8PM, and I need to do a bag pack.

Soeey, goodnight blov-vers.
Iloveyou.

P.S. Oh and Zena, thanks for the hug(?). I mean like honestly. You're Sweetie Honey Pie. And also cause I need that one hug from youuu, at least, since I had a really wonderful day today. ILOVEYOULAAAOKAYY<3

Slept at 3 last night and woke up at 7 this morning.
4hours of sleep. Goo?
Its already Sunday, marks the end of the weekend.
Owh. I honestly need to go out of the house, urgently.
Honestly, I'm sick of indoors atmosphere. Its, honestly suffocating.
I slept a couple of hours after I took my medicine.
I was having a real moodless period today that I went completely hysteric over the fact that I'm mere hungry. Can you believe that?
My room's in a great mess and I don't know when I'll clear up all the trashy stuff thats been laying around my room since forever.
Weekend's been real boring when you got yourself sicked.
Its realllly borring.

IHATEIT.

Well, I need to hit the books now. Daa blov-vers.
I miss ya'll.

I guess I need a "need-to" post since its due 3days since I've last blogged. Anddd, my karma's plurk are declining steep.
Well about yesterday's Racial Harmony day, if anyone, by any chance, expecting for a photo, boo, fat hope. I don't take pictures last night.
Reason being;-
- me not bringing my cuss camera, and my phone practically is having great trouble snapping photos
- me really, honestly sick(however no one knows that):)
- me having a real moodswings(out of the frigging blue, Idont'tknow why)
- me feeling pissed off with my "BF"
***

Yesterday was almost a "blow-off" day for me.
Everyone is apparently having their own fun&entertainment, while me, sighs, unexplainably(-/ve) bad.
Well, I reiterates on the "almost" because of course yesterday wasn't a total hectic moment for me.
Some just too lovely heartwarming living things that gives me a little laugh above all my real "torment-kind-of-feeling" moment. I wouldn't elaborate on the fact that I WAS pissed her, but just an FYI;- this is the first in my history, had I ever get mad at a friend, furthermore, a bestfriend, in oppose to that, SHE doesn't knoww.
AHH, forget it.
I am seriously going to have my "Moon Day" soon I guess.
Welll, well well. Great. I've not answered her on the phone, via smses, neither through IMs, purposely.
God, I'm reflecting on myself.

I cried, unexpectantly, right before choir farewell party preparation, right outside the music room.
I dont' know what happen to me, but I just felt like crying.
I'm sorry, Sheela, I wet your dress, if.

After the choir farewell(which I must admit, was mundane on the first half, afterwards not, I guess), headed to McD, despite me not having a single cent, with my only long-last companion(for the day), Joelyn.
Joelyn totally rant on me about "stuff", on our way there and I did vice versa.
Mygod, I didn't know she have such deep impressions.

I told her to shut up on her "sadding" stories, cause to me, it looks like she've been influenced by my real bad moodswings. Lets just, then, be me who's sad, okay?
Upon reaching, she ordered for me a cup of sundae and I had my fill like anything, cause honestly, I am hungry- with no allowance for the day, I have no idea, how I've survived till this moment, at 8:15PM.
Goo.

Continue the lifetime of our stories, and told each other, how we have each other's back, no matter what, stuff like that, and said our goodbyes.

Upon reaching home, I just got to know that I'm sick.
So sick that I couldn't had dinner last night. I was so tired that I fainted off on my bed and doze off till today's SL meeting.

Woke up, all reluctant to go, washed up, showered, prepared breakfast, and rushed to meet Sheela.
And so the SL meeting goes on and I had my accordance morning and recess duties and all of us will be starting duty next week onwards. No more late wokeups(not reall there were, for me) and by all means, had to arrive in school before 7.

I'm so tired right now, and've just woke up from the hours rest after I had my medicine.
I'm sorry if by any mistake, I'd mispelt any word.
Love you all, blov-vers.
No matter whattt, I still love my wonderful, blov-vers(which is if there's anymore?)

*ILOVEYOU, MORE THAN I'VE DO.
YET, WHATEVER THAT'VE HAPPENED WAS WAY INEVITABLE.

*IREALLYDO.

The day seems relatively short today.
Its raining today and obviously everything's freezing. Owh.
Initially after-school plan was to meet Asyura and Jane for this coming Friday's event, however, cancelled.
First lesson was the dready DnT, which fortunately, for an hour only.
Afterwards recess and all.
Followed by English lessons and science.
I was actually dozing off during Science lesson. The weird thing is that I only get sleepy then.
I took off my specs and rubbed my eyes, trying to get myself awake.
Then Literature took place.
LASTLY, school ends just by the last lesson.

I told you its a short day.
I head home with such a heavy back as I borrowed from Esther the Indian's constume for RH on Friday. My bag's bulgingly heavy, in result.

Okaayy, I got to hit the books. As in start my assignments and all, now.
Sooey, byeee blov-vers.

I dragged home, feeling utterlessly lethargic and weak.
Showered, forced my stomache with a bowl of chicken porridge, though, undoubtfully, I'm still full, and start with school work and all.
God, the quantity to complete all of them was too much to handle I think.
Seriously, I started to hate DnTs lessons with all the monotone lectures and related machine works and stuff. I am seriously not a practical person, so for this kind of lesson, I'll rate badbad.

After 2hours of ICT programme headed to KFC for stomache-filling session along with Sheela&Maria. It cost me 6dollars altogether and there goes my so-far-this-week savings.
We spent like half an hour, more or less, in KFC before saying our respectives goodbyes.
I should be the last one to reach home. Reason being that I only board the train after sitting at the bus stop for at least 20minutes, doing what, I don't know.

Honestly my knees are snapping anytime and all I wanted was to get home fast.

Another I had to celebrate my best moodswings period ever.
With no one anywhere at my reach, I think collapsing deep will be the ultimate result.
Trust me, I'm more than three quarters from it.
Failing. However,
slowly, silently.

Okayy, I got to control.
So much as I wanted to post about theeee "sad" contents in here, no I can't.
Kay, moving on.
I'm actually re-reading the pages of my Geog textbook and trying to absorb as many of the content.
Test is just tomorrow and I'm struggling with everythingg. Godddddd.
Thats the negativity of my attitude. Badbad.

Honestly speaking, I really need a touch up over my bedroom. I really hate to keep walling the same wall color again, the same design and all. I'm planning to do a D.I.Y room renovation.
Well just a minor one. To prepare for the future. Eheheh.
I'm certainly need to change my bedsheets, and absolutely need to change my old century living mattress. I, too, need to repaint my walls overrr and have my window panes touch up. I'm planning to change the position of my bed as well.
But I guess I just leave the mosaic wall alone. Mum's hardwork. So, completely can be modified. At. All.
Lol, gueesss thats all for today's post.
Oh.

Anyways, I'm planning to start over.

Thats just a statement for today.
Love you blov-vers<3

Lol, how could a foreigner, as foreign as a Taiwan male plurker plurked me something as close as foreign language to me on plurk. After figuring out some of the characters, the thing he's saying was actually a polite hello(?), and a polite goodnight(?). Really. Big. Lol.
How in the world does he got my account??
Okay I understand and know that there's such existence of "plurk search", but still, who could have been so accurate as to type, S Y A R A F I N A and the result would be of minee. Lol, get it??
Mygod, who caressss like anythinggg. Okayokayyy, whateverrrr about plurk issues here.
What a night.
Like usual, I have trouble sleeping.
A minute ago I was flipping through my Geography textbook, purely not extracting anything to my brain. Not. At. All. Well, actually only the first page which is the intro.
There's no one online right now whom I could talk withh, only 2online.
): I'm through this boreddd laaa, ommmegoDDD.

I thought I'll say this officially for this special post;-


the people i would save if anyhow anytime anywhere they would drown(?) in order of accordance;-

(******)
MUM
DAD
SELENA
SHEELA MARIA
ZENA
SACHA
HAZ
HAFIZAH
2E4s

I know its the most randomest thing I've ever came up with, however, thats the only thing that I've been thinking for the past few period. And those are the people I reallly honestly sincerely loved and will forever love most.
They're my forever.

OH & ZENA,
TAKE NOTE THIS;
ILY2M la.

I've figured out that there's purely nothing one can do to change the other.
What a pathetic statement. I know.
I might have to continue updating later.
Gotta rush for endless house chores. Ugh.

One possible reason why I don't post is because I don't want my lovely blov-vers to be reading the same sad-ingg post which is really boring to a certain extent.
God, I understand that.
Being sad is really boring but changing emotions is draggy as well.
However I manage my feelings, pretty much, well now. I guess.
Attending school, does helps a lot. I mean like genuine a lot. The Reason Is You.
I particularly hate Thursdays. Cause to me thats my bloody day.
I got really really worned out and jump to bed after my bath(till now, I still couldn't figured out whats the right spelling). I, only woke up at 5 when mum starts yelling out from the outside and I got startled from my whatever dream.
Afterwards, I continued laze around with the heavy thought thats there's a lot of list to be completed by today which is a long one.
Had my reallllll late lunch in and started with my assignments then. Well, editting can be as identical as doing the assignments all over, which is sooo lameee. Geeeekkk.
I started with easy maths, territorizing science followed by average-rating geography.
Its past 10 o'clock and I have no idea what to do.
Since I had an early sleep in in the evening earlier, I couldn't possibly sleep at this very early hour, could I?
I guess I do some read up for tomorrow's lesson(:

Well, got reading up to do now.
Daa blov-vers. Love all you areee!

Everything inside me hurts. Especially the system that helds your live at every verge, your heart. Thats mere beating every second, even when you go unconscious.

IhateyouIhateyou, okay enough twice said, cause the third time, I might really going to hate you, and I don't hold hatred.
It was always because of you, but you're oblivious to everything, especially that of to me.
I don't want to make decision, because all the previous while, I've made a huge stupid idiotic silly decision everr. I sillyly couldn't contrast between whats a diamond and whats a glass. I've always mislead my future because of this silly sistem working on me, the yet innocence heart.

Do you really think your heart whispers the truths, always?
I used to think so, but not now. Not anymore. My instincts are always wrong. It always kept conveying the vague of its purpose and that left me isolated for a moment in thinking of my decision.
Whether it is or is not, I bother not, anymore.
You're always turn back to me begging for your life's aid, and I've been generously providing you, and thats consecutively.
But when happiness was over on you, you forget everything as if you'd just earthed a milisecond ago. You know I've always been keeping to myself. Telling anyone is equivalent as to hurting myself. Might as well just keep in and only hurt myself.

To my ownself, I am sorry, I have been selfish to you. I can't put innocent cast into my pathetic life plot. That'll make me the world selfish individual. And if anyone hurt because of me, I mighta want to pull that trigger off my brains, without thinking, I'll be ceased to exist.

Even if apparently there are beezillions of wonderful beings out there I could ask for confinement(whatever the spelling was), I couldn't bear to. It'd hurt to share the most painful things. Its okay if me alone's handling the whole situation.

Though my heart is untrustable at the moment, I still have self-understandings, that was a fraction of help to me, I hope.

At least I still have a hope.

There's so many things I wanted to do.
There's just so many thing I wanted to wish for.
But there's just too many things that makes these yearnings impossible.
The reason is vague. Really vague. No one ever understands my language. Its hard even to expressed it in the simplest terms.
I am not hoping for anything. I'm just, my god, wishing?(does it makes any inch difference)
Well sometimes the greatest thing happens once in all those treasures, but then after trying it out, you've found out that those weren't the least greatest things even, they were just great from the normal habitual way of thinking.
I don't get it.
I tried to hold on to the good parts of the day.
Just remembering the good parts made the jumping settle down in my chest, but it made me sad, too.
Why did He have to give you a thing so beautiful that it could make you ache, and then take it away? Why didn't He make it so that just once things that were perfect and true stayed that way without the bad stuff mixing in? Why couldn't the good ever stay?

It lodged in my chest and sat in my mouth, clogging my throat with a bitter taste the last time I heard you breathe.

P.S. I was in the mobile, just staring up at the morning sky thats turning brighter and brighter. But one eminent little full moon caught my sight most. Mum says, see a full moon, make your wish. If God wills, your wishes will come true. Though its a little too "wonders" thing, at least its something that might come true. And all I wished was you, oh just you. And I don't know the least why.

There's so much of today I'd loved to keep as the best memory.
It just seems, that I've learnt to cherish my life better now. Seeing as how the situation goes, I really am looking forward to every tomorrows. I even felt the warmth now at home. I have less tense and worries to care for. And I felt that I smiled more(:
Plus more, I've been listening and singing to happy songs. It was and really a great change.
I am looking forward towards a better semester. Though, its a little late to say since one week have passed.

After dismissal, I intended to went straight home, however, I visited Popular to browse some necessaties. I spent like half an hour searching for a particular book, but to no avail.
It was a long time since I had a long tour around the causeway, alone. Its a wonderful feeling, you know.
Then, bumped into Chairmaine and Candice. Both of them were veryy pretty and its good to see your old friend. I'm glad they still acknowledge me as their friend. Lol. Its been 2years straight, they could have forgotten. And they went asking me "do you have boyfriend already?", and I seriously went blank. Mygod, won't you. Its a no surprise if they have one, but me, heaven, n-o. Well, exchange a few words and we said our goodbyes.
Afterwards, I saw my primary school mate, which is also my once-to-be bus mate too. Smile and then, we buzz off. Its a great feeling to see this people again. Its like your life suddenly starts to rewind to history. Lol.
Finally, I got a taste of the Japanese Biscuit lol. I bought it for a dollar over at the train station when I just wanted to have a bite of sweet stuff. Grab that and one of the blueberry cheesecake.


P.S. To Zena who may or may not read this unvisited abandon blog:
Zena, thanks for the talk today. I felt really good after that, well, little talk with you earlier today. Really, trust me, you could seriously read my predicament too accurately, sometimes making me wonder whether you're a being or not. Lol. Kidding. You're sure it is, love triangle. Hhahaa. Me love youu eh.

P.P.S. Eh, he've said the word iloveyou, the 3rd time alreaddyyy, you knowww. Omg, Zena, how I wish he never kid around like I thought he was. Oh. Sigh.

I figured out that since its the last day of the week before we had a 3days short break, things turns out nasty. With people dumping all the workload to my scale, that makes my life inbalance. I got this and that to do and yet you guys just sat there, prioritizing things that well, you aren't supposed to.
I'm not complaining of any such, however, look at it as how things should turn out. Since you know the deadline is today, why not stay back, and finish this once and for all. Kay, whatever. You're scarcely replying to my messages. Cum to the result later, blame me all you want, and yes, I take that with pleasure. I loose control already. Its difficult even to communicate with you guys, what's with Ms Shidah saying that technology helps us improve our life a lot. Well, indeed it is. Great Fina, its all in your hands.
I'm seriously down-to-earth pissed off. Like heaven seriously.
For if other things you give me the load, you know, I could understand, but at the last minute period like this, you're tensing me with things I'm off-helmet with, you're really ceased to kill me.
Boo, I'm sorry blov-vers if I'm way to overboard describing the situation, however no one understands me better than I do. And perhaps noting it down here, might give avid proof how the world gave selfish orders, just so perfect for my day.

Ohmygeddey, I can't believe I slept in just now. My body just couldn't take from last night lack of sleep. I guess I must have down with insomnia. Oh?
It turns out that I didn't feel the yearn-to-sleep in school, but just as I reached home, seeing all the typical addictive things, I get myself to want the bed. Whats just too best, I slept for a whole 4hours. Thats my world record.
And oh pretty honeyy sweety pie please, not let this flu carry to tomorrow. I don't want to go home for the last day of the week. I hate staying at home when I should be in school. Please, recover quick. *Sneezings*
It really is annoying to keep a-choo-ing. Trust me. I dreaddds sneezing the most. Who doesn't?
My days started to party out of secrecy. I started to learn to love my days already(what? I sounded like I was down with some disease that could only let me live for at most few periods only. Drama please, oh stop. LOL.). But frankly speaking, what more could you ask for if you relationship with your bf gets better, your relationship with your classmates turns out to be the best thing ever, and the urge of coming to school. Really, I enjoyed them the most.
Kay, whatevv, no one's listening. Well, I'm might want to start with the maths-flip-book for the last time again for refreshing of memoryy. *OhmOhm. Take me to the happy place, hurrrrrrry up.
*I love this mantra. Hahha.
Okay, blovvers, who's now my doubt ever exist(???), bye bye. Love all of ya.

P.S. Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.