stay true to you.
"That's the thing about love, I understand now. It feels exciting. It feels like the most momentous thing in the world. But really it's just another day on Earth. It's just something nice. It moves through the body, creating new divots and curves, preparing for the next love that will come true. And the next love will only come true if you stay true to you."
A perspective view of a sixteen-year-old Zoë Gill, written by a wonderful author, Kerry Cohen Hofmann in her book, It's not you, It's me. Another amazing novel to spend your holiday with.

OKay, enough about the book.
We had Choir rehearsal this morning that ended at 12noon earlier.
I must say that this rehearsal is one of those many that we had fun. Wouldn't be surprised if I'll be looking to more of choir rehearsals. OMG, did I just typed that?
Lord, but now back to square one. I'm bored. Over. Again.
My holidays ain't going to turn out any better.
Councillor schedules, choir. Nothing else to look forward to.
Oh, yeah, and TooUnique's last class outing. That is if the date was available.
KKK. Love you blov-vers<3

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. TOOUNIQUE ROCKS FOREVER AND EVERRR!!!!! Goodbyezz ohh to the lovely 2e4-rians.

Gosh. Just woke up from an afternoon nap again.
It's half an hour past 7, and I reckon I must have dozed off long.
Erm, school's been pleasant, except that I had a mental breakdown during the last period of D&T. Zena, just made me cried for reasons about today being the 2nd last day of school year. Owh, I mean won't you?
Selena had not came home yet since she was dismissed at 1. So I had to wait under the block, bus stops, shops for her for like the whole of half and hour. It's frustrating especially when other schools had dismissed and suddenly saw this pathetic student from a certain school waiting for someone with a pathetic D&T kitbox.
As soon as I reached home, I had a long hot bathe.
Surfed the net for a moment, then decided to get my mood lifted with the book and suddenly caught myself feeling sleepy and soon fall asleep, in a dreamless sleep.
I still can't find myself to accept that 2009's school year is finally going to end in less than 48hours.
Urghh.

K, blov-vers, got nothing else to say.
Loves<3

I reckon I must have catch a cold or something with all the sniffing. But after an afternoon nap?!
Lol, anyway.
I'm done with Briana'sGift, like seriously, finally and starting on a book by Kerry Cohen Hoffman. Romance novels now seems to be typical story plots. However, I like it though.
Ohm, Thursday... Friday....
Gosh, I can't believe our school's year are ending real soon and goodbyes are not inevitable.
I really am hoping not to end 2009 this mundane, you know. And I've actually started, and by so finished my "mission".
But I doubt I even have the courage to completely finished it. Maybe I just keep it as a memoir for myself? Or perhaps? Ugh, I don't know.
Okay, its past 8pm and I need to do puffs-packing. Queen's order.

Till then, by blov-vers<3

You don't die from a broken heart. You only wish you had.
- Anonymous.

I cannot deny that yesterday's conversation with Syafiq was amazingly wonderful for after almost 2 months not talking to him. Hah.
I'm currently busy on an important mission that needs to be accomplished either by this Thursday or Friday. Geeeegeee, can't wait.
It feels great to be happy being once again.
School was pleasantly fine as usual except for these 2 factors:
- no pocket money for the day(ughh, mom?!)
- the embarrassing moment Maria caused :$
Except for these 2, life today was great.
Headed to RL to borrow another stacks of books with Maria&Sheela. EE, and the books back home hasn't even read finish yet. Lol. In total, I borrowed, 6 libary books, HAHH. Going to finish it in no time sooner next week, I hoped(you knoww, I am a relatively slow reader compared to Sheela. I can't even finish reading a 160-pages of a novel. I know I knoww, super slow reader. But you can't blame me. I love how each every author describes a certain scene of the story.)
Afterwards, had to rush home because I have no keys with me(I lost it, instead).
As soon as I reached home, Selena open the gate and dash off to her tuition centre.
And found myself all alone again):
Spent the next hours with my laptop, watching some random Korean Drama on net before getting tired and get myself an hour nap.

Hee, wonderful day right?
Okay, till now.
BYE blov-vers.
Praying for a wish.
Lovees.

I WANNA GO TO XI'AN, SUZHOU IN CHINA!!!
HEGG CARES IF IT'S ONLY 5DAYS.
HEGG CARES IF IT MEANS GOING WITH TANTE NOI'S FAMILY.
BUT MY PARENTS(OKAY AT LEAST MY MUM) HAS GIVEN ME&SELENA(YES ONLY US 2) THE GREEN LIGHT TO BOARD ON AIR PLANE WITHOUT THEM!! (YOU SEE YOU SEE YOU SEE, OUR MOTHER HAD AS AT LAST PLACED HER TRUST ON US SISTERS).
BUT, "UGH UGH UGH", WHEN MUM REVEALED THE DATE. DANG IT CLASH WITH MY CHOIR REHEARSAL. OHH, AND FOR THIS ONE, UNLESS I WANT TO DIE WITH MY NECK LEFT SLAUGHTERED, I canNOT LEAVE THE COUNTRY.
Bummer, I know.
But, the good news that there's still hope cause Tante Noi have not book the air tickets yet. She's planning to this Wednesday. So for the next 2 days or so, Mum might have to cajole her somehow to alter the dates to either later November or earlier December.
Aigg, I'm honey excited now la la la.
I mean for a teenager to tour around the world, at this age, it IS quite a something to be "AHH" about right.
I hope it'll be a positive news this year.
No one knows how much I've been hoping this "independent trip" since Tante Yaya board off to China in 2007.

Had the best pineapple-corn congee by dad.
I love it when my dad starts cooking. Just like mum. He'd go all excited after experimenting every new side dish invented all by himself.
Well, what to say.
Sometimes a fraction of our lives, ARE BEAUTIFUL.

I starved myself the whole afternoon just so I could get greedy myself at dinner.
Dad brought us to this Club7 - club as in NOT the pub kind la duh - to have our dinner after picking Selena from her UT. Ah, I'm pissed at that girl, don't ask.
The place was relatively well-furnished and looks, well, classy(?) in a sense that I felt proud of my father, that his company have this kind of place for a hang-out. Cool uh.
The amazing thing was the price. It's freakingly reasonably cheap, to an extend where mum&dad ordered like nobody business.
I ordered a simple meal, just to fill my stomach. Other than that, I don't wish to touch any other side dishes ordered. Though, I love their 10dollars shell-e-os crab. It's like this real mini crab and the shell was edible as well. hah.
I totally forgot the earth's still orbiting, the moon's changing, and I'm breathing. I went totally blank as I place my position on the car seat and let myself drool in sleep. I felt tired of everyone asking me to be their perfect daughter and sister. So all I'm capable of doing is just ignored them to sleep.
Well, I'm back home. Doom to blogging.
I really have no life. No proper life in fact.
I want to have a life like Sheela. Perfect. Flawless. If not, at least, almost.
Sheela, I, too, hate myself for being like this.
But, I wasn't given the liberty to have alternative like you do.
Blov-vers, sometimes, you ought to appreciate your life more than you are now. Cause I bet a million ouncy fish, you guys have a wonderful fine life.
)':

P.S. Hafizah, you still look adorable. Even with your new do.

HAH.
I get to write a letter to Juliet.
OHMEEGOOD OHMEEGOOD OHMEEGOOD.
I'm going to trash it out to you once I knew it.
Just wait.
Blov-vers. LOVEE YOU.
OKay, to excited to explain.
Daa, have a pleasant evening.
Hala!

I can't believe this.
I've been seeing a lot of 11:11s lately.
God, why do you have to be so kind to the heart that needs a change?
You know, I'm trying.
Probably, there's a light.
A Light Of hope?

Yay! I've finally finished TheJulietClub - another book highly recommended.
Oh well, I just came home.
Today I'm planning my day early.
So. sigh. I'll be all alone by myself at home today with mum taking morning and afternoon shift, dad taking afternoon shift and Selena going tuition(practically for the entire afternoon). So dug my head off into my book gee.

There's left with 2more weeks(is it?) of 2009 school days. Really am feeling heavy-hearted(for the obvious reasons).
Next year, we will be in secondary 3, of different classes(that's for sure) and brushing our heads with the load of subjects we've opt for. Can't imagine myself in any free time, reading much anymore of my romance novels because 3 quarter, or perhaps more than that, my free periods will be occupied with councilor stuffs, tests, exams and a lot of things I need to keep in place at home since mum have decided not to take a domestic maid. Lots lots lots of things have in place for me already next year. So this upcoming Nov&Dec holidays, I'll be pretty much trying to borrow stacks stacks of library books, going out as much as possible cause who knows, I may not get as much of that free chance next year.
Kay, enough about worrying.
I'mma starting on a new book now by Sara Kadefons.
Daa, blov-vers.
LOVES.


by Suzanne Harper.

Finally the weekend.
The journey of being a 15 year old have been awfully grievous. I can't imagine where I'd be next year. Sigh.
My head's throbbing thinking of all this things. UGH.
Why must the clock ticks so fast at moments I just want to stay in the present?
Why does God have to make things so selective?
And, WHY MUST THERE BE SOMETHING THAT ALWAYS HAD TO MIX IN WITH THE MATTERS THAT'S ALREADY WORST?!
I'm getting sick of handling of this things pathetically alone.
God.
I don't want to leave 2009 too fast.

Woke up at 9.
Continued reading TheJulietClub. I've been spending almost 2hours still thinking about last night. Bathed only then at 11.
Been in the room the entire day cause I can't bare to walk around. My soles hurt so bad. I have no idea what's the cause but it sure does IS hurting my right legs that I'm limping.
There's no KUMON today due to Deepavali. So, I had the rest of the day to myself.
Well, I shall be reading TheJulietClub now instead of drowning myself in deep sorrows.

Daa, blov-vers

The day had been relatively brief yet a pleasant one.
Lessons starts with English- going through paper 2- and then it was music, (err, practically, free period).
I bore down reading TheJulietClub the whole of the 2 periods before recess.
Duty was mundane as per usual. Nothing much that I've encountered today. Hhah, good job I reckon.
Afterwards, Malay paper and free periods all the way till school was dismissed.
Accompanied Sheela home as usual and dug my head to the beds before going tuition.
Then, tagged mum to buy Selena's 11th birthday(which she made such a MAJOR fuss about. Like it's so-oooo important. Compared. To. Mine. Ohwells.).
Reached home, here I am stuck in my room, blogging.
Blov-vers, I'm dearly honey pretty sorry if lately, I hadn't been updating much.
Blame my mum. She'd been stealing my laptop ever since she's obsessed with The Internet to accompany her for her night shifts. This is dang frustrating when I'm supposed to be having my free day on Sunday. She took it. Grumps, I know. However, I'm in no say cause ultimately, she's the lone person who actually pay my monthly bills.

ANDDDD,I can't believe she just sold her SamsungJet mobile phone after 3 months of purchasing it in return for a 480buck to buy another sleeq-kinda-style SonyEricson. Too much money, I reckon.
Selena, on her 11th birthday, she already got a 300-cost phone, anything little miny ouncy things that she wants, which accumulates to everything that she wants and a grand grand grand 11th birthday party with a cake. PLUS endless of wishes BEFOREHAND.
Me, on the other hand, on my 14th birthday, received an one and only 155-cost Puma watch, a 19.90-cost purse, a late birthday wishes and a late birthday cake plus NOT A PARTY HELD. One word: P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C.
I mean, even on my 11th birthday, I got the CHEAPEST EVER THINGS ANYONE COULD GET ME. Barbie DOLLS AND WHATSOVERRR STATIONA/ERIES, which CAN'T be compared to the list of things Selena got on her 11th birthday.
I know, I may seem veryy so complacent and grumpy but all, but what can a 14-year-old, helpless pathetic teena-ger could wish for but just a simple pleasant love?
It's sad to know that): Too sad to be true.

That's why, sometimes I felt it's enough to love, cause I can't afford to be loved.
Or, do I?

Listening to you;
Waiting for you;
Looking at you;
Understanding you;
Telling you;
Thinking of you;
Knowing you,
Suddenly, I love you.

Does it hurt?
To love,
be loved.
Dear myself, I ask. Unheard.

Slowly, my love grows from root of expectations
to a flower of affections.
Slowly, this love starts become vague,
doubts starts to show if it's fake.
Deeply in my heart, no one can tell.

Yesterday was simply whiz-banging.
Went out with Maria&Sheela. Heh, and nothing can explain a great excitement I had.
Honest, it was the first time in the year of 2009 that I could finally watch movie with my friends-best friends.
Headed to AMKhub to catch the movie. Tour for a few rounds in the mall before buying drinks&popcorns for the movie.
We watch Fame. A movie Kevin Tancharoen. The casts include Kay Panabaker, Naturi Naughton, Asher Book, Paul McGill, Paul Iacono, Debbie Allen, Kelsey Grammer, Charles S. Dutton, Walter Perez, Megan Mullally, Anna Maria Perez de Taglé. It's an American musical film. The movie's awfully, stupendously amazing.
HAHHH.

Sorry for the long blog hiatus.
Finals over. Officially over.
I think I'm over-the-top that I'm doing pretty fine for all those papers, except for History and Scienceeee. Don't ask. Worst than a terrible I'd be expecting my scores to be. Owhh, sorries to the promise.

Few factors that made my day(+/-):
(+): Syafiq saying his 'hi'(honest, I didn't notice him approaching over cause of my visions, duh).
(-): Science Paper. Lost Hope. OH):
(+): Selena bought me ice crunches.
(+): I can start on my routine updates on thiss blog.
(+): Hanging out with both Maria&Sheela, it kills my boredness.
(+): I'm starting on my novel-freak mode with The Juliet Club.
(+): I can finally get myy goodnight sleep with cares-who about anything.

Okay. I think I'm having heavy headaches. Oh, the rain's the blame.
Shugs. Me ain't sleeping today(, though).
Missed you blov-vers<3

Warm kisses,
Fina.