Yay, I've finally got my vintage-styled storage box! Can't wait for 2 more billboards for photo-pasting!
So. I've been decorating my room, lately. Well, I reckon it's a must since I feel inferior for my room. My parent's and my sister's room were both prettily decorated and furnished, while mine, I have to use hand downs furnitures(see even, when it came to furniture, I have to give in) from late granna's. Well, but I have mighty loads of ideas for my upcoming room's new look. Heheh.

P.S. I really do think it's JUST TIME TO DEFY GRAVITY.

I really think I'm seriously, gaining weight.
Bad news bad news bad news.
See. This is the problem of staying excessively too much at home, purely much, eating sleeping.

Till now I always got by on my own. I never really cared until I met you. And now it chills me to the bone.
How do I get you alone?


YAY, someone's finally learn to fall in love. And surprisingly, it ain't me this time. I'm happy for her.
Smiles regards goodbyes.

I guess I can now say that I'm much less, recovered already.
But my throat's still burning.

I count the endless times you ignored me, erm well, though it doesn't really matter to me now.
I count the endless times you cajole me, attempting your silliest ways to make me feel better.
I count the endless times you used to love the way my responses are to you.
And all those were, may I say, an infinity-in-beyond's memories I would never want to forget in my youth days. But then things turned out to be really vague and I came to be clueless to what, to the circumstances, had happened.
I don't care if you will or will not be this entry's reader or not.
I don't care if you think I'm a petty and miss-trying-to-be-too-perfect 14 year old teenager.
I don't care if you assume this is not even you.
Reason, you DON'T CARE AN OUNCY INCHY INTO WHATEVER THAT I HAVE TO SAY.
I hate myself for posting this dang old story entry.
I hate myself for even attempting to post this entry.
I hate myself cause deep down inside o' me, I wanted you to read this entry.
I hate myself cause on the other hand I don't want you to read this entry.
I hate myself for being so fickle.
I hate myself for hating myself, in lieu just because of you.

What should I do to even avoid getting hurt?
Well, and where the 7-years of Plan have been re-activated.
I hope this is right.
I hope that I won't have any regrets.
I hope that by this I will actually be back in my "free world".
I hope that even if everything was a major misunderstanding, this would actually be for the better.
I hope that the third party would be happy, as well.

Oh, hopes.

"Because I told you, you would live to regret it
Now I don't wanna make you feel bad
But when it comes to me just forget it
I'll be the best you never had
You put me through so many emotions
Now baby it's your turn for that
Cause in your empty heart I have left a mark
The best you never had
Well, I'll always be the best you never had."
That words have gone history. And I ain't regretting it. At least I know, I have not.

It's 1:34 in the morning. It seems that I can't to go to sleep - yet. As much as my body has been begging me to, my brain controls it all. I'm pretty caught up with something that's been bothering me lately and truth is, it's difficult evitting it.

What am I actually doing with my holidays, GOD? I've just been passing it day by day, paticularly doing nothing peculiarly meaningful, much less, interesting. Whayy, and I'm actually just waiting to buy my books, in attempt to start early reading.
But it's really s-with-a-3-letter-strung-behind-,-you-know-what, when you're in the most pathetic condition.
Plus, I just got to know that we won't be going for a vacation anywhere. Credit goes to my sister.
Sigh, ah, well. Life's like this, well for me at least.
I might as well take it with positivity, or just end it.

Now, I've learnt to put up with a smile at the worst situation, cause thinking of you guys is an eternal bliss.

Perhaps, today's the best lunch I'd ever had with my mum, alone.

Plan to decorate the choir's noticeboard(yeap, we finally have our own noticeboard, can you believe it?), fail. Reason, my body temperature starts burning early this morning(I know and I still have the cheek to turn on the computer) and there's no way I can sneak out cause mum's having her day off today(ugh).
Last night, yesterday, I had already recovered(well, at least I'm feeling fine), but then what's with the high fever this morning(!!!). Just when I thought I could get some breathe going out, other than attending tuitions, my immune system, says no.
But at least, the plus thing, I have the entire day with my mama, haha, considering Selena's out with her playmates and dad's having to work morning + afternoon shift.

Jean-Paul Sartre once said, "Everything has been figured out, except how to live."

What was I thinking?
I even asked Crista and Josh, ones whom I'm a stranger to, about it. Dang, lord, its embarrassing.
Maybe I don't have to straight things out; maybe, in fact, there's nothing to, anyway; or maybe I just let things go by the flow. Well, but still, it's "maybes" we're talking here. I really can't be siding on probability, cause it's a risk considered it ain't even close to possibility.
Oh, God, in acknowledgment to your presence, please let things go back to where it's supposed to be.
Maybe, what Nicholas said was not entirely untrue. I can vow to myself to not to fall in love in my next 7 years of my lifespan, that's how the brain works: orders, but I will never know if that will happen in that period of 7 years, cause that's how the heart works: loves.

Otis Rush once said, 'A guy will promise you the world and give you nothin', and that's the blues.'

Answer: D - None of the above.
Reason: The person who asked himself couldn't make it.
Comments: Lol. Life's so iffy, dicey. It can be perfect one moment and in just split seconds, it ruin someone's paradiasic life. Well, that's life, you called it.

I'm glad I'm living under the same roof, as a matter of fact, with a lovely family, my lovely parents.
Though, I really can't stand the way they are altering fractions of my life, I do appreciate the time they've spared for me and Selena. Though, we always got into quarrels for that particular day, we'd definitely reconcile, the day after, and feigned as if nothing had happened the night before and lead life as per normal. Though, I am not always with par on them, I figured out that yes, we're sharing the same blood, but we ain't sharing the same heart.
I think, perhaps, I have been leading a blissed life.

Choir was AWESOME, today. haha.
We learnt a new piece today - a Hokkien song. I find the melody was pretty serene and harmonious. It's pretty interesting when it came to translating it and writing our own pinyins for the song. Wonderful song, indeed. And, we're going to sing that for both our public performance and the international competition and as expected, we must memorize study the piece and get familiarize by the 29th. Oh.
After choir, head to Admiralty with Sheela and Sacha to grab something for dinner. Ugh, there goes my 10 dollars for the week):

My mind's in fickle.

A: Should I just go and lie to my parents?
B: Should I seek permission from my parents and tell the truth before deciding I should go or not?
C: Should I just lie to him, instead, and said that I wouldn't be able to make it tomorrow?
D: None of the above.

Slept at 1 in the morning. Spent the whole night talking with my lovely soulmates(lol).

I'm sorry for the temporary hiatus.
This week has been a complete wreck.
Ohwell, I'm just going to fill in what's you've all missed for the past couple of days.
It's really heart-wrecking after knowing the future I'm going to have in another 2 years in WRSS. You know, at times like those, that's best to transfer school, or best still, migrate. I know, I'm kinda exaggerating things here, but, eyy, this class the last class I've ever even had imagined myself in my last brain cell. However, after hours and hours of sit-and-reflect moments, I figured out that things weren't so bad after all.
It's not like I am really going to change school yet, and besides, it's not the O Levels. Plus, I'm not going to automatically be a loner. I have Esther, at the very least. And, Sheela's not the continents away from me. We can still hang out, (like she've said herself). So, things weren't so bad.
We have been Choir rehearsals for the past Saturdays, which also explains my absence in Kumon(mum decided on me to quit soon, btw).
Oh, and shoot. I've only touched on my math homework. God, this year's 2-months holiday is so going to feel like 2-weeks. I swear, time goes by so f-a-s-t.

God, SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO NEXT YEAR: I'm so going to miss Sheela's ramblings about Kris Allen and Mr Shah):

I don't get it. I don't get you. I don't get these people.
I hate it. Period. Read back: I H A T E Y O U.
Enough of all the longest of the time you'd caused me to do the waitings cause you know what, I'm through. Enough of your empty promises.
Silly me, I'd even had placed you in my future list. But that once.
This time, I'm honestly serious. Backspace all the entries I've written, cause blov-vers I'm goddamn* serious, this time.
I'm saying this for real: "7 Years of Plan is re-activated."

P.S. Just so you know, you've actually come to high score. But, you shoo-ed your player off and over-ed your game-voluntarily.

Choir rehearsal today was peculiarly regaling. Lord, and got to agree with Sheela. Ms Grace is being verr adorable. Hha. She barely, or in fact, I shall say, she did not even tensed us in a way, when she usually scolds us.
So we had our wonderful, jocular choir rehearsal today. Learnt bits and pieces of new stuff and practically laugh our lungs out the whole 4hour of session, especially at one moment in midst of singing(hint hint Sheela).
Headed home with Sheela and Illya and bought some bread from the confectionery.
And now, in my most panic state, am deciding on the clothes I'm going to wear for tomorrow's Vienna Boys' Choir concert. I don't want to dress up like how I did last year for the ACJC's concert. Embarrassing, okay.

My heart beats heavy.
My breath exhaled mist.
My mind's whirling like a hypersonic.
Unconsciously.
I feel anemic, powerless. Like I'm unable to do anything, even to defend for my own rights.
I'm sick of arguing back of what it is to which I would end up raising a white flag back on them instead.
But I'm tired of being The Martyr.
I really hate this moment of my life. I wish I was born where I'll never remember much less reminiscence the minus points of yesterdays. I really really really wish.
Lord.I feel awful. Downright awful.
Guess I just gotta sleep in and forget, what it might seemed like a major woes of my life.
Goodnight happy blov-vers<3

I'm seriously going to die of hunger one of these days. I swear. The kitchen's here down in my house have been loosing the food stock. And, lord does my appetite seems to be undying.

Okey dokey, so yesterday was actually something I've looked forward to. Yay! I've finally renovated my room. Well, not much of the renovation actually. But, I've rearranged the furniture such that everything was diagonal. OHWHOA. Plus, all the bruises and scars and scoldings I got was, all, worth it. Haha.
I really hate the entries I've made recently. Most of it were all pretty brief. Well, reason was that there's nothing much lately for me to post about. And, meeting up with XinYing and Sacha yesterday, was the first time I'm out of the house after the Saturday's choir rehearsal. Imagine the degree blase I'm having in sucha holiday.

Lord, I wish the time could run faster. I wish. Sigh.

P.S. I figured that I have fall for Lady Antebellum's song. God. The band totally rockzx.

GOD! I'm totally bumped!
After last night mom-daughter fight, and that my library book'd overdue.
Idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot.
God, I'm totally pissed at myself. !!!

Dad actually asked me to iron my school uniform.
Lordde, he can be so gullible about my school schedule.
Uouhm, but thinking back, no surprise cause Sunday nights always felt like this.
I've finally cleared my wardrobe and organize things out, before mum gets her lungs burst out because of me. - One section of clearing up done. -
This weekend was a total mess. It's either I slept, read, eat, surf or mere just staying alive. Other than that my weekend spells boring. So be prepare for mundane entry's content. I swear there won't be much of a roller-coaster-iac contents anywhere soon you'd be reading.
I'm bumped. AH.

Goodbye<3
Signing offs.