Truth: You can close your eyes to the things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to the things you don’t want to feel.

Today seems a little too "everyday". Nothing much of an outstanding scene to talk about. Just a little weeny things that just distracts me, erm, for the entire day. Okay, big thing.

Oh, okay. Perhaps the only good reason I'm saying this is because I've just gotten used to being so bored. Hah.

"I was half in love with her by the time we sat down."

That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.

You can't totally depend on my mum to be your best photographer. Told ya.
Hah. I hope this pictures were enough to compensate all the mini gritty little details I should have posted in the previous entry.
Love to you blov-vers<3

Yesterday turns out pretty sour, ACTUALLY. If you are those ones who actually understands me truly, then perhaps you'll understand part of what I intend to say.
But I heard, when nothing goes right, goes left. That's how I made my day yesterday wonderful.
Public Performance II: We Are The World rocked no doubt. Except for a few boo-boos here and there. I had my best laughs and my best cries. Oh yes, I did. I had my best sight, yet of course, had my worst one. Well, there's always 2 sides in every single thing, don't they?
I figured out, the best thing to do is to pretend; put on a smile; and let them think everything’s alright. Haha, nevertheless, I enjoyed last night. Mighty mighty mighty a lot despite having to endure blisters and throat-scarring for the entire day, it's all worth it.


Yes. It IS worth the it.
And I'm glad. Real glad.

P.S. Last night photos will be uploaded soon once I get my mum to download it to this slow system.
P.S.S.S.S. I want a personal P O L A R O I D ♥ !

Apologizing:
does not always meant that you are wrong and the other person is right.
It just means that you value your relationship with that other person more than your ego.

‘I love you’ hardly means anything anymore. We think wants are needs. Forever isn’t as long as we initially believe it is. Love isn’t as strong as it should be. Sacrifice is a joke. Promises are only there to be broken.

God, I totally got to agree with Victoria Cana. Don't you, blov-vers?

I always love P&T (pour&tell) sessions with Joelyn. Hah, she'll always twist my mood and toss the bad away. Heh.


So basically, the brief rehearsal today turned out to be a complete different one from what most of us actually expected. Yes, had the best of laughs. And, goo, can't wait for tomorrow. Is this even real? Heh.
Afterwards, me, Joelyn and SuQing headed for dinner. I swear, it had been the best of a long time since I had the best P&T sessions. Girl-gossips, boy-remarking, couldn't get any better, my day, I swear.
Haha. Okay. Almost 9. I wanna get a lot lot lot of sleep as possible, just to prevent eyebags and dark circles from forming the next morning, and also because the "Boss" says so. Till then, blov-vers.

Love, as always ♥

P.S.  BTW, BEST OF LUCK FOR ALL P.P. performers. May we all do the best for our show tomorrow! Yay.

Okay, nights.

Where ignorance is bliss, ‘tis folly to be wise. 

Thomas Gray says.

I hate how the gradient of my life totally change. I want to runaway but my cowardice attitude brings me back in. I hate I hate I hate how I feel. I just want to... runaway.

Today feels... perfect. For the first time, I had my day being so perfectly normal and nothing seems to bend towards the negative side. And that for me, is a beautiful surprise.
Well, in other words, the confused teenage gypsy has finally settled down.

The wonders to great laughter. Hah.

Imagine yourself stepping out of a dim subway station into the sunshine and felt a telltale tickle in your nose — the unmistakable need to sneeze. Hah, funny to know that these are all scientific factual explanations.
What's going on here, you might ask, blov-vers dear.
There’s still no hard evidence to fully explain sun sneezing, but scientific and popular attention has largely focused on a particular hypothesis proposed in 1964 by Henry Everett when he was a psychiatrist at Johns Hopkins University Hospital. According to the hypothesis, the photic sneeze reflex is caused by a confusion of nerve signals in pathways very near one another. Since sneezing is such a sudden and involuntary reflex, the cause is probably located in the nervous system, which is capable of transmitting signals very quickly.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh.
Yea right, awed all you way reading oh right? Okey, I'm just pacified. Gotta run for my due and piling up revisions. Oh yes. Reeeeeeee-V-tion.
OKey, till now, <3

P.S. Can you just believe if I say that I got a passable A grade for my Chem Test 2? Hah, I know right. I thought I might actually flunk that one. Ahh. God loves me. OKey, I love Him too.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I hate to see her cry. I'm such a useless soul. All I can provide for her at that moment was a warm embrace. I love her. I really, earnestly do. Blov-vers, I love her. Very. So. Much. God protects her, don't take her away. I love this woman. Honestly do.

Sighs.
What am I going to do with my life(sappy line?) It all now seems so indecisive, wait no, non-choice-sive.

Well, all I wanted is to get along/pass by this year, as well as, the following year, go to a relatively good JC, go to the all mighty University and graduate. I just want that. No more than what many out there dreams. After that, what I am going to do with my life, is pretty much planned and destined, (well don't you think?).

I can barely fulfill my initial dream no more. Perhaps, still sticking to my impossible hope : - worldbliss. But, give legal advice? Ah, I must be kidding, man. I can't even pass communicating with my fellow peers, what more to someone who needs assistance in representing for legal matter, and what so such-es. God. Fina, dream on!

I know this might sound deluding one self. But I guess, this dream ain't going nowhere. I can never be an attorney. Much less, a good one. And that's not looking down on myself, that's F A C T. Oh yes, fact - the hurting truth. Well, you gotta agree with Mr Oh for this one : "The truth hurts."
I'm still on vague vision on what am I to be, or what I would be 10 years from now.
Blov-vers, have you ever give it a thought, yourself? 10 years from now. What will you be, then? YES, I stress on the whhhhat. Someone, would probably be in their highest position only at that, then, age. On the other hand, some other one would be slogging theirselves trying to find a suitable profession to have to get to touch good food on the table, when they would have done that 10 years back(which is now).
But now the big question mark is, what am I going to be, 10 years from now?

Choir rehearsal ended an hour ago. Solemn...
My God. Please. I. Hate. School. Term. Break.
Hurry upppppppppppp Monday(though kinda dread the thought of having to know my F&N makes-ah, no hope- seriously). I just want to involve in something right now(though I must admit that I just have more than a handful of involvements already).
Aiyy.

We should remember that very many things we need to supply our healthy and comfortable living but only the true feeling of love makes life really longer and happier. And this is scientifically proved.

It's quoted, as far as you are concerne.

God, I just want to feel something that I will actually be worth someone's thought. I don't want love. Perhaps friendship. But I just needed a faithful one. I'm through this rough ride. I want to board off. I want to grow up. I want to get out of this ugly path in where I'm always the one that's at the side audience-ing a happy show instead of being a performer up in that happy show. God, if you could only give me this one simple wish ; if only...

Today I caught sight of you. Again. And you throw my attention away. Again. And everything still stays like how it has always been. Again. 



Mygosh.

P.S. I can be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel all alone. Oh.

Ah. I miss Singapore. My god? I know. But freaking yes. I miss my country. Oh.

It's only freaking 3 days, Fina. My god. Dramaaaaaaaaa. Okay, shut up.
Okay, let's start with me missing yesterday's choir rehearsal. You don't know how worried I was back there, then in KL about how the list of many things I've missed for just yesterday's rehearsal. I feel so terribly bad. Honestly, from the deep-bottom of my ouncy little heart, I don't wish to go to the trip. I sssssswearrr. I hate missing rehearsals. I hate it okay.
A clear explanation could be reflected from what in lieu happened in today's. Oh yeaas, I got scoldings(like duh-uhh) from Ms. Grace. What more could I expect? God, I was totally lost in the steps whatsoever and I keep feeling restless and all. Ah. So pissed.
Sigh. What could I possibly do now? Well, just have to catch up extra extra extra mile.

Well, I gotta get my soul off this screen. Gotta start revision. 3 days off the revision routine! God, I must have missed a lot on my work. Fina!

Daa blov-vers. I love you.
As always.

P.S.Photos of Holiday Trip will be uploaded real soon once I compiled all the them photos from the phones(yes, phones, our lousy phones. So be prepared to see a lousy-quality photos).

Hey, blov-vers!
You might be awed, how in the world could I have blogged at this hour.
Cause I'm in KL already dudesssssssssssssss.
Hah. So that just mean that I'm in the Inn. Gosh I gotta tell ya this, IT'S SO FREAKING COOL laaaaaaaa. ooh.
Kay. gotta log off soon.
Daa blov-vers.

Sorry, I find this major thrash after reading it. GOSH GOSH.

My body are aching all over and guess what. I'm going for a holiday with this kind of condition.
All due to the 2 hour of standing and greetings of goodevenings. Mygosh.
Honestly, I don't wish to go for this holiday trip anymore. Reasons are that my free weekend is taken for this trip(and I'm telling you, I can clearly foresee that this trip will end up using my energy level only), and if my free weekend is taken away, it's pretty difficult to get all of my holiday assignments done earlier, god and that just leads to less of revision time. Why. I told mama I just don't want any holiday trips till I graduate,(I mean at least not for 1 week of March holiday). Plus, Selena is sitting for her major examinations this year.
Ah. I just wanna good sleep tonight because after tomorrow, it's busyyyy day(s) for me.

Wish me happiness :D
Will be on temporary hiatus. So I'll say my apologies here for those whom I won't be answering your calls/texts. Misses.
Hearts ya blov-vers. Muahh.

Blov-vers, you know, I envy how many of you are practically enjoying your life right now.
I could  b a r e l y  spent a few seconds thinking for myself. Sigh. Tell me how could I ever be enjoying myself.


But...............................
ME: *SHOUTS YAY*.
Reason: I'm finally flying this holiday, off this unbearing cage, outta SINGAPOREEE.

Okay, but nowhere "prestigious". Just KL. But still, that calls for a celebration. I'm going over-the-sea, finally, after, 2 YEARS. Yeah. My godddddddeeyyy. Okay, wait, there's another buts. I'm missing choir rehearsal. OKay, that would be... nightmare cause it's a 5-hour rehearsal. Which means, updating-updating is a must-must for me okay. And, believe me or not, I'm starting to have this feeling of I-will-probably-die-if-I-would-have-to-miss-choir-rehearsal-in-the-future. No kid. Yes, oh. The affection is coming by. Good for myself. Hhe.

P.S. Eugene, keep up the smile.

I honestly hate the fact that I am always much more stupid than everyone else.
I honestly hate how my stupid hair isn't growing.
I honestly hate how tanner I have got.
I honestly hate all those them moments I'm caught in sight.
I honestly hate myself.

Sighs.

Does the above content seems somehow somewhat familiar to you? Yes. Social Studies, blov-vers. Ya' hit the nail. I thought that ego is a good and debatable issue to be ON CASE right now in this century.

Ego makes people not to do what they actually wants to do.
Ego makes the humankind hold back almost anything and everything that is what was supposed to.
Ego makes one to bury regrets.
Ego makes someone to be coward and afraid of almost anything that's beyond their own barrier of comfort.
& Ego especially, makes US having to be in a pool of questions that is yet and I doubt will ever be answered.

I am sick and tired of being the only one that's holding back everything and anything.
I am sick and tired of always trying to understand.
You got me, I AM SICK AND TIRED.

Blov-vers, I am sorry that I've been posting pathetically sad entries lately. The thing is, it's the only place I could possibly pour everything out, comfortably. Maybe being dependent to myself, is the best solution.

P.S. For those of you who don't know who blov-ver is, silly. YOU are my dear dear dear blov-vers. One who read my daily entry. Even though I can sound be a total loser writing contents as such you have read. I appreciate your follow-up, a lot a lot. And I'm thinking that irresponsive friend like you, blov-ver, is the best out of the very best ways to rant on. <3 <3 <3 Hearts for you guys forever.

Things don't always change with a bang.
Sometimes they change so gradually that you can't clearly pinpoint the last moment they were truly the same.
Now change is merely everywhere.
& I'm telling you this. I loathe it.

D, I miss you. Why does it feels like a friendship we promised felt so brief? Why does the year of our bliss ends so fast? God. You know I love you. As my one dear dear dear friend. I can't take the blow. I can't take the blow when you turn your head away from me. It might be a minor thing for you. Not for me, my friend. You know it yourself that I take promises as something big. Yet you're doing things that you know makes me ... hate you. You're my one best friend I told myself are my one few reason why I'm putting on smiles each and every other day. But why do you have to put me in such a harsh position. Or, is it just me or you're just avoiding me?

I know that guy who sent those emails are somewhere deep down inside of you. But I can't wait for him. Because waiting for you is like waiting for the rain in this drown - useless and disappointing.

You're right Sam. Disappointing enough to steal one's breath away.
Blov-ver, I'll update. Soon enough, okay? Once I catch my breath.