I always get scolded for no reason, at the wrong time, place, with the wrong audience that is enough to humiliate me. And for no reason, too, I never ever did stand up for myself. But cried. In discreet. I'm such a weakling, I know right.

Sigh.
But no matter how much we fought, and cause war in the house, the thing is, WE STILL LOVE ONE ANOTHER. And that's never going to change :D

No matter how hard I've tried, at the end of the day I still have nobody.
God.

P.S. The feelings has always been there. It's either you hide from it, or you face it. I don't care what other people thinks, but it's what from you that matters. I've always thought you as a life-accompanist, as a shoulder to lean on, as a pair of listening ears to hear me out. But before I knew it, you ran away. Away from all those responsibilities, which initially it was YOU who initiates it all.
Maybe it was just me and my wild thinking. Or could I possibly be right? *shakes head*. I hate it when you cause me confused like this. You ignored me. You threw away your looks from me. You gave me the cold shoulder, cold greetings and cold replies. But you know what, I actually still do love you, best friend ♥
P.P.P.P.P.S. EMILY, YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT  ^.^

I'm still finding ways to get over the temptation to power sleep. This el muy sucx because, like what I've told Hafiz, I'VE WASTED DANG, A 3 HOURS OF MY PRECIOUS TIME on, zzzZZZZZ, sleeping? Fina: Sleepyhead.

Ah, my head hurts.
Night blo-vers.

It's 1.13am.
And I'm still wide-eyed, awake.
I can't go to bed.
It must have been the 4-hour afternoon nap just now. My God. Prepare for super huge panda eyes.
Hmm. I don't feel sleepy = I tried to manilions times already shutting my working system off: failed = won't be able to sleep for, probably the next hours = waste time = what should I do(?) = revision(?) = ah, kinda sick of it = now, what.

Okay, I'm really going nuts.

TODAY IS AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME. Okay, awesome is not really a good adjective to describe today.

TODAY IS ZERO COOL, FABULOUS. 

Had a great time study-dating with Esther ♥. Honestly. 
And I had my first visit cum eating cum studying in ... STARBUCKS. Hah, I know this might not be any biggie to most of you, blov-vers, but reallly, I daren't step inside this kind of coffeehouses because a drink alone(which is barely a cup full with the too-manys' ice) cost you a freaking 5 BUCKS. But anyway, I get myself one, HAHA. Well, Esther's advice : You gotta buy at least something here so that 1. they won't chase you out, 2. show off. Well, she didn't really mention the second point, but ... just LOL. Hahhhhhhhh.
We couldn't find any seats (as predicted from Sheela) in the Regional Library(a place where you DON'T HAVE TO/ NO TEMPT to spent on anything), so we end up in STARBUCKS(a place where you just HAVE TO spent on something to get your butts on one of the chair). Patrick bailed on us, in the end.
I'm pretty glad with the things I've accomplished during that 3-hour period.
 - A-Maths' Revision cum Homework ;
 - SS's Revision ; (half-way revising...)
 - Physics's' Revision ; (half-way revising...)

Hey, that was quite an achievement. Every time I do study groups, distractions are always inevitable. HAHA. Yay, 11 claps for me ***********(!!!)


P.S. I can get really, extremely, awfully, overly mad with my class. But the irony part here is that, at the same time, I can ALSO get really, extremely, awfully, overly in love with my class. AWW♥

That'll be all.
Love for my wonderful blov-vers<3

Sometimes when I had a bad day back at home, I reminded myself to think about back in school. That hey, I've got my perfect friends that gives me a perfect day to my hazy day.

8:04PM: In midst of completing my A-Math Online Quiz (8th Question).

5:49PM: Just finish on 1. Redo-ing A-Math CA Test.

P.s. How slow can I get?

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God. I gave my biggest thank Yous to you, honestly, sincerely and dearly for giving me this wonderful gift. You know that I've not been really revising much on my work days before the test. You know that I've been neglecting and procrastinating a lot lately on my studies. Yet, you give me an un-deserved results. I am grateful to you. Really. Though it's just a passing A grade, I AM grateful. To you. I'll send my best promises that I'll honestly work hard starting from this moment and not be dependent on you to draw "luck lots" for me. God, I will cause I dearly love You.
Yea, I get an ............................................................................. A for my ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS and I've been freaking out for the past 32 hours before the result is released.
  My Gosh. I swear, I totally break down after that. Trying to control my mental break down but, dear tears just flow out neutrally. HA HA. And I actually passed for struggling the night before and do last minute revisions. OH. MY. GOD. I know right.
Okay enough about being so compassionate about my A-Math result.

After school, head to Admiralty with Illya & Haizan to grab a bite/ let time pass(cause we're actually finding ways to do for the 2-hour interval before the A.A.R.). I don't remember the last time I'd ate at McD, but I remember it was at least a month ago. HAH. Afterward, me and Illya head back to school.
As soon as we're done, accompany Emily to study in the library. Spent an hour doing our respective necessary things and another hour, for P&T(pour&tell) sessions.

Emily dear(L), sometimes the hardest thing in life is knowing what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If it didn’t, everything that happens to us is completely meaningless and that tact is just lying for adults. Sometimes, in order to possess happiness you gotta to learn to let go of that wild feelings your intuition tells you. Cause, who knows that's what that do harm to you.

Love to one and all.
Fina signing out.

I love people. Everybody. I love them, I think, as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is raw material for me. My love’s not impersonal yet not wholly subjective either. I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write about my thoughts, my emotions, as that person. But I am not omniscient. I have to live my life, and it is the only one I’ll ever have. And you cannot regard your own life with objective curiosity all the time…

Smile.
Today, this word fight through all my sorrows. And know what? I'm glad I did.


It has been raining since noon just now. Quite a stupid thing to illustrate that God is really really unhappy. God, please stay happy. Cause my prayers will all be drained if you're not. I really really really love you. As equal as I love mama. Lol. Ever imagined knowing God, your all highness/majesty, can have emotions?
Sigh.
Another unrevealed question.

Thank you once again for him who made me happier.

Ah, Mdm A always have to pick on me. Right. Right. God, why am I even electing Food&Nutrition in the first place.
The best things that made me happier all-ways, time and again are just nonetheless, my dear SL-mates♥ It's just always moment like this, I fear I'm losing it faster than I could ever possibly imagined. So cherishing every bits is what to where I could only do now.
I love you blov-vers, especially for always there to read my never-ending boring entries, always the same content, same boring style and the same boring story about this same person(if you KNOW actually to whom I'm referring to). So keep on following me cause I'll promise you this one thing, as days and moments get washed by, I'm sure I'll be strong enough to get through this road of a-gonna-be-wrecked teenager cause I believed that every weeny miny little things occur and happened for one special reason that only Him knows it very well. All that I can ever do now is just live up to my best of expectations and live no regrets in existing cause I know, God sure have something in His mind on why he'd created me in the first place.

I just want her to know that every now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. I just want her to know that even if hailstorm might came into action in just any moment now, I'll always be there alongside her, holding her in my embrace, tight and never letting go. Because for just this once, I'm not letting myself to feel the regret of losing, perhaps the last person I could love, and actually love me as dear back.

I'm back. YES. God, imagine all those days without having to update this poor blog. Owhm. Blov-vers... OKey,  so the camp was a skin-torturing one. I grew, darker and tanner, in terms of physical, on the contrary, grew more responsible/independent/confident than before, in terms of psychologically. If you're expecting an in-view of the 6day5night camp, well, that might have to delay a little later cause I'm in no mood and time to update in clear in-views details about the camp.(FYI: don't expect any photos cause apparently I've not been taking any photos during the camp)


Well, so I expect a brighter side from all of you once school reopens! Okey dokey, daa. 
As all-ways, LOVES.

BLOG HIATUS @
from 4 April - 9 April.

Loves, blov-vers<3