Reading a novel that plots on a story of a confused teenager falling in love while lying on the bed, enjoying the breeze from the rainy weather outside, was a good way, to pass my last day before days of tiring activities in a few hours time.
Ah, Imma missing home D:

I'm sorry I bugged you out a moment ago. It wasn't intentional. Well, ironically, yes. 
I don't want to make it seems as though I'm just tagger and mere just following orders. For once, to someone, I want to be a rebellious teenager. If that is strong enough to make you stay. I want, for once, to be someone I might be 10-20 years down the road from now. I want, for once, have someone to love me not only for my plus sides, but for my "foresee" negative sides. I want, for once, to be love unconditionally without the clear reasons because deep down, I know love is sincere and you don't need valid explanations for those. 
I hate to admit it but I want, for once, to be those ugly characters mentioned, and you truly love me.


Hah, I wonder how I could really come up with that one. Pretty impressive huh? Well, for a flair thinker, I guess that should be my bare standard.
Ohwell. Just so you know. I've gone to sleep for since 5 to 7 pm just now. I fina-lee deduce to hibernating so as to pass time from getting overly bored and got everyone affected.

The me now, it's the minimal happiness.
I'm pretty happy, well in fact -VERY- that you were part of that happiness.

Getting top in a subject was not that much of a shock to me, but getting first in the class, was something I must say was pretty unthinkable in my secondary school life. My heart races and I started to feel a rush of temperature in my body, like I was going to get fever at any moment. I swear the minute it was announced, my heart felts like it suddenly came to a halt. Like a racing car trying to find a stop seeing the red light. Yeah, it was that scary. I weep a little and get a hug from  Mdm Saratha. It was a little bit too overwhelming for me.

But still this girl is not happy. Duh, of course. I deproved a lot. A lot from my CAs. And I felt sorry for myself. For being too complacent. Ahh.
During Mrs Kok's talk, I got a little drowsy, and my mood started to deteriorate. A tinge of sadness also came by. I felt rather disappointed on how the class did, overall. I don't like the fact where other people see us as the neutrally last express class. I don't like it that way. And boy, do you know how just that hurts a whole deep a lot. But I shall take Hafiz's advice in a optimist's point of view: we still have a semester more to prove. Well. I'm trying to do my very best, on my part, to help the class gain some place. MM. I know we can:D
Mum got me on my neck(seriously) after the briefing by rushing me to get the first queue. My god, how can they teach us the virtue of being patient, when they themselves are rushing on things(little) like this????!!!!
Then, I had to practically run with my head to and forth and search of classroom I'm supposed to be in. Ontheway, I don't know how, but both my mum and Hafiz's got caught in a mini conversation. Thank God, in lieu to that, my mum started to loosen up a bit :D
So I fina-lee got my turn.
But still, I got a lecture-ride. It is, dear so hard to please, to whom it may concerned, MY MUM. But I still have to be on the same side as my mum la. I mean positions doesn't really matter, that much. My L1R5 was a little bit too disappointing, on that part. I agree. I've been like gaining 5 marks than my CAs. And sure is that bad.
CONCLUSION: I shall make a new resolution for next terms': Imma gonna attain at least 10points and below for my L1R5. I'm sure impossible should be nothing.

  I can't seem to know the reasons to why, I'm feeling very uneasy, a little portion of hurt(s) and pissed today.
I cried over small tiny mini little things like losing my first-owned 10bucks book, and panic for a moment. My heart went a little heartbroken. Ah, stupid or what Fina.

Then I had to see it. I don't know why, again, my heart just cracked a little. Ah, must be the girl's heart. The sensitive radar alert. Or maybe because of my moon period. God, & I'm feeling angry at no good reason.
My head hurts so much that even after banging it once against a wall, I still couldn't feel any hurt at all. Yeah, it's that numb.

This queasy feeling have been around with me for quite some time now. And I have no idea how to get rid of it. Is it just another The Inevitables? Goodey.

Right. K, night blov-vers.

P.S. Hafiz, sorry for my cold replies. I owe you one.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.
A FACT OF LIFE:
after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says;
W T F.
(what the fina)(I don't know what many of you are thinking, but in a polite manner, yeah, what.the.fina).

Everything seems to be going back to its old ways.
And I hate seeing people cry.
I really do. That's when the result of breaking down started.
Mygod, I pray that things are going to be good for us. At least just this once.
Ohm.

P.S. When times get really really though, remember, not to look down, left or right. Instead, look up. Cause you know what, He will always be with you. Throughout the journey of your life. Always.

No one else makes us angry. We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose, not they. They merely put our attitude to a test.

P.S. Hafiz, I'm sorry I made your day sour again.

Right, so yesterday was a little bit too bitter for me. God, too much to put into a post.

Ohwell, I'm having stomach runs now and then now due to last night. Oh.

Sigh, what a weekend to pass. In 5 days' time, our one and only June's Holiday will be commencing. I'm so not looking forward for it cause I'll be pretty much drilling on the subjects I've not done so well on(which is practically every sub). The only factor that makes me look forward for this coming holiday would be class outing(s) and GGs' outing(s).

If you're wondering if I'm missing out something, you're right - the SLs Camp, which is going to take away my first 5 days of the holiday at Kota Tinggi. Well for this, I am so not looking forward for it. Well, I don't know. Talked about this with Illya about us being the uncared/unattended to category of people. But still I'm hoping for something exciting to take place. Well I'm pretty much putting on high hopes on this upcoming camp because, as far as I could possibly predict, that's the one and only activity I'm going to put high interest on. I might not be able to go out as often after then. Many things happen and I have to take care. Well besides that, I'm in midst of planning in search of study dates. Few of which are Emily and Hafiz. I'm still considering on going out for other days( most probably with the GGs ). &&&,  I am just dying to catch up with movies la!


<3!!!

If you detect even an inkling of happiness, a tiny glimpse of love, a mere hint of contentment, for heaven’s sake grab it and don’t let go. Don’t ever think twice.

I'm such a useless friend. I'm clumsy in handling a person's welfare at heart.
Such a disappointment, Fina D:

I love today. Well, kinda.
Haha. How have you been doing my dear blov-vers? Long since I've asked this question. But yea. Here's one. I've been getting straight Bs for all of my papers. And the heart-aching thing is that it is all B3-one-/-two-mark-away-from-getting-an-A2 kinda mark. Ah ! Just it, you know?! I'm praying so as my CA results would pull up all my marks, I'm begging you la pleasee.
Okay, so basically I kinda secured my Amath to it's original A1. Thank God. But I still am not happy with the results I'm getting back. Such a disappointment. Sighs.
OKay, so the state funeral of Dr Goh Keng Swee went pretty well, I guess. My grandma said she saw US(as in yea, the whole lot of us, SLs) on the screen. Hyeah! Haha, cool.
After which head to McD with Illya and SuQing. Sheela basically dumped us for the cools D;
Head my fill there before heading back home. Hafiz kept me occupied on the way home, yay!
Because of the bills I'm getting, I'm kinda cutting down on the number of texts now. So yea, less communicating.

Mygod, I realised, my blog is much more ME this days. Orelse, it'll be so freaking formal. I'll avoid all those "la" and "ah". Heh.
Love you blov-vers.
Well you know I do<3
All the time.

I am honestly honestly disappointed with myself and my stupid results. Should I just believe that sometimes things get worser, before it gets better?
My mood have been pulling me down these past few days.
Moodswings, or what, I don't know. Honestly, I feel very... despondent. Ah.

I am so not deserving a good break for my Junes'. I swear. Although, I have been... okay, forget it.
Super tired/ lazy/ moodless day no. 2. Good job Fina. Get yourself sad all the time.

My god. Why can I just have one factor in my life that actually makes me look forward to seeing a new day each morning? Why can I just have that ONE thing D:

P.S. FINA, I am so so so disappointed in you. I know right.

I get tired these days. I meant like reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllly tired. Stupid irony cause we barely do much of intensive stress learning in school. Ah, and I've been sleeping reallllllllllllly really early. Despite that, I still have dark circles D: Bummer!

The weather has been real bad these few days. In the morning/afternoon, it can be scorching hot on the contrary, it can immediately rain in the evening, without warning. And that explains why you hear a lot of sniffings and coughings here and there, everywhere. Haha. You know, I don't know why, but I don't seem to be getting any sick for any of these year, THAT BADLY that I have to be absent from school (well, except that one day this year). My immune systems doesn't usually be THIS well. Hhaha, wondered why this year? Supplements, Vitamin Cs perhaps? Hah.

God-knows how disappointed/upset/angry I am today. Elaborate further, and the mood might reminiscence.
Sigh. My God. How to keep an uplifted smile, like this, you tell me.

Sleeping early. Daa blov-vers.
Good luck for all your results:)

P.S. HOW CAN SOMEONE STILL SMILE AFTER ALL THE PAIN? I SALUTE YOU LA MANNNNNNNNNNNNN.

Without you, life would be like;
Moanday,

Tearsday,

Wasteday, 

Thirstday,

Frightday,

Shatterday, 

Sadday. 

Oh, <3
Yes it will ;-(

At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer.
- Chelsea Handler says.

I realized that I kinda experienced the same thing happening to Ms Chelsea. Well, the difference is only that I don't have the bouncer that come that gets me. I mean, duh, I don't visit nightclubs (mygod?).

K, have a nice evening blov-vers.

Okay. So another day spent, wasted, alone.
Aiyyy, I really hate weekends like this. Well, at least talking to a loyal best friend, helps.
God knows how much junkies I've been throwing into my stomach, just how much I'm going to die with them one of the days.
It's sad. Exams are over just a day yesterday, yet my mum still couldn't let me out. I hate staying at home, just you know that. And FYI, it's not like I am loving my life staying at home, it's I CANNOT GO OUT. How pathetic, let me put it. I'm 15 fgs. I need to fulfill my teen period's wishes before I even leave high school. God. I really am hoping for a free all night out for my June's holidays.
I really really am.

God, you DO know, don't you, that I've been slogging out for the past few weeks/days/months for the MYE? So please let my dear dear dear parents know that their poor daughter here, needs a break too.

Can you?

Everyone,  at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with  the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves  them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never  have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering  blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their  circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts,  that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these  circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this  way, too.

Okay, Hafiz, hope you're sooooooooooooooooooooey much better now. God, you.

Okey, so here's a second and a much better post than the previous one today.

Now that exams are over, I can fina-lee look over something much more into detail *clear throats*. I want to be more happy and stay happy. Well, to the point now, I AM actually, already. Hah.

Being in the exam's mood phase sure is head-cracking for me. I spent sleepless nights on doing real last minute revisions and trying my verrr best to squeeze in as much of the things I have to remember in my memory bank just for that sake of one subject. Well, don't mention Physics with me cause I already loose hope on that one subject. I did not complete the paper. Yay, for me, cause 5 marks flew just like that. But I'm glad, cause I really really took time to do my best for each and every question. Well, at the end of the day, all what that matter is your effort. Ohwell, F&N was another disappointment. I lo/ose 12 marks, JUST. LIKE. THAT. Oh yes. That already cost me a grade down.

OH WELL OH WELL OH WELLLLLLLLLLLL, now all of those pressure of memorizing are fina-lee over and fina-lee put a rest to my awh-poor brain.

P.S. My bear-bear is officially named: FIFI(L). Hah.
P.P.S. Intention to make Hafiz happy : SUCCESS.
P.P.P.S. Hafiz got a curfew from me too!
P.P.P.P.S. Ego is ironically: BEAUTIFUL.

I love you blov-vers!
<3

I feel really really pathetic. Mid Year's finally over and here I am in my room faced with none other than my laptop, eating BigGulp, throw myself with lots and lots of chocolates/ candies/ junkies/ chips and in no time, I'm going to grow fat. Well that is beside the point. But the fact that I AM STILL LEADING A PATHETIC AND BORING LIFE EVEN AFTER ONE OF OUR BIGGEST EXAMS FOR THE YEAR, is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy beyond anyone's tolerance. God, what can I do? Syarafina's life it is D:

HAFIZ: This just so happens, turns out to be your name:D 
Freaking coincidental, I know right. Hah, what a met.

“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”

Audrey Hepburn, FTW ♥
And for one(s) who are able to, I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU'LL MAN. 


P.S. Hafiz, I've updated, WHEN I'M SUPPOSED TO BE IN INTENSIVE PHYSICS REV! ;D Hah.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I LOVE MY LIFE. I LOVE TODAY. I LOVE YOU, BLOV-VERS! YAY. *JUMPS JUMPS*

God. I know it has been almost a week since I've last post. Well, the plan was till after my Amath paper, but knowing me, I know it'll never works. Ohwell, this will going to be a brief sum up of what you would've missed for the week.

1. Hafiz is the wilted rose while I am his sunshine :D Aww, I don't know which part of my brain cells came up with something so primary school typey. 
2. I'm in love with Amath.
3. I'm so so so so so veryyyyyy worried for EMATH *cries*(!)
4. I just got a passing A grade for my Chem Test. *jeers*(!)
5. Intensive revision nights with Hafiz :D
6. Being Hafiz 's sunshine feels I AM needed, aww :D
7. I love my class. Vivacious, ftw.
8. GG formed: Val, Pan, Arn, Eml and Fin <3 <3 <3
9. My best friend did not avoid/ignore me. Yay.
10. I bought kisses.
11. Kisses burnt my 7bucks.
12. I gave out kisses.
13. First, to Emily :D
14. Second, to Hafiz :D
15. Third, to Eugene :D
16. Mr Chee's leaving D;
17. My Emath teacher, aka Mr Terrence Chee, ROCK MUA SOCXZ because he sang an original composed song as a farewell goodbye and WE CRIED D;
18. Least did I know, I have wonderful friends. 
19. I am going to break down soon.
20. I have been having sleepless nights.
21. I am glad. I. AM. OVER. HIM. 
22. I miss choir pracs D;
23. I miss my C.seniors D;
24. Mdm Aishah gave us chocs.
25. My F&N teacher, (kinda) rocks too. But well, just not as much as my Emaths'.
26. Hafiz gave me chocolate :D
27. Eugene looks oh-mua-god hot with a watch on his wrist. 
28. I scolded Eugene to take out his watch before I fall for him.
29. I feel that Hafiz is my best text mate :D
30. I'm in love with yellow because of Hafiz.
31. I realized that what Eugene said is GOD TRUE.
32. We are so having a phys training before the K.T camp (post exam).
33. I am so so so planning for a girls'/friends' out (post exam).
34. I've been surfing for Taylor's gorgeous/beautiful/angellic/wonderful/amazing photos the minute I stole my laptop back yesterday.
35. Hafiz is my pink rose :D
36. Hafiz makes me happy these days. 
37. Eugene makes me happy these days. 
38. Emily makes me happy these days.
39. The GGs makes me happy these days.

36. I HAVE BEEN HAPPY THESE DAYS. REAL REAL REAL REAL HAPPY :D











I love you blov-vers.
<3

I came to realize that I can totally be surrounded by a sea of people, and still feels all alone.
I came to realize that I can be given an answer sheet to a TRUE LOVE test, but still be blinded by the fact.
I came to realize that I can ace good grades but still feel redundant in living.
God, and I JUST CAME TO REALIZE THAT. 

Honestly, I’m scared to get too close to people. It seems that every time I get close to someone, they always have a reason to leave later on. Maybe its fate teaching me that life goes on, or maybe I just trust the wrong people.

Sigh.

For all my wonderful blo-vers,

You’re alive. Your breath is warm, and there is blood pumping through your veins. You’re human. And you know what that means? You’re inherently flawed … and you know what? That’s fine. In fact, it’s more than fine. You know what it really means? You’re perfect. For all of your “flaws” that are all part of what makes you YOU, you are absolutely, undeniably perfect.
Thank you for being you. just the way you are. You are a beautiful, beautiful bird. The most beautiful. And I will always be here to tell you so when you need to hear it most.



P.S. My sister says I smell like a baby. What Was That For? An insult?