I just finished listening to Rascal Flatts's songs when it came to me how much I loooooooooooooooovee country music <3. Not to worry Taylor, I still love your pieces too. Oh and Carrie and Lady .A. <3<3<3

From morning till now, I've managed to complete both my E and A Math revision-cum-homework. Guess, I could say that's an accomplishment huh? Haha.
I figured that I love Secondary School's Math more than Primary Schools' where I'm forced to face with a lot of work problems here and there. So unlike Secondary School's math where all you're required is master the basic materials, understand formulas, do occasion revisions and you're pretty much on track with what that have been taught.
I'm really hoping that both my Mathematics marks are able to aid me pull my overall marks later at the end of the year, cause truly, honestly, I have this fear of both my Sciences (not so much with Chemistry however, with special concern to Physics, but of course). Mrs Oh did said that I'm doing pretty fine with the learning and all, but I still have doubts in whether, I can pull the "fine" to a "great" instead cause I just want to get a fairly good B3 or perhaps, if my luck's good, a just-pass A2. Reason is, I looooooooooove Chemistry and I guess I can ace it pretty okay. But if my Physics' results gonna be such a sloppy number, then what good would it turn out for my combined science's grade then?
Sigh, this is the due consequences for having to take combine science. I thought it'd be terribly much easier than pure. But then........... it's not really.
Alright, I still have F&N's research to complete. God, this is another subject I'd place my heaviest worry for for my EOY. "~"

Kk, work hard everyone. I know it's not that too close to The Crucial End Of Year Examination period, but honestly, listen to our Mr Soong. By procrastinating, we'll just an inch away in getting disappointing results. So why risk it when you are given alllllllll the time now?
Shush. K, enough of the lectures already.
Till now, DAAAAA<3

I've got a conclusion to make.
It seems to me that the busier I am with things, the happier I am. &, God, Mdm A, you're so right: Pressure's a pleasure. Mum said I followed her, well I guess, I can say so ;-D
Gotta thank these NDP things going on lately. I've been too occupied with council matters that my mind somehow wanders off from the things that happened to me lately. I love my life-makers, my lovely lovely lovely friends. I love Sheela, I love Emily, I love the counc-eeee-luhhhs. I love my mum. I guess the word  l o v e  now seem to be blinking everywhere now. No matter how suck my day got, just this people made the factor to give up, for me to make through the day. I'm glad, truly glad that I'm over manyyyyyyy things now. Things that made me think that it's not worth occupying a space in my thoughts, in my heart.
Now that I've got exactly a week more left in midst preparation for this year's NDP concert, I can barely get myself to do much of revision. I truly felt that I can never really prioritize things. My studies seem to be descend. I fear for that in time to come, I might not be able to handle the blow. But, rot. It's just another excuses I've made up to compromise myself to be lazy and keep procrastinating.
To answer to many of your questions about my current life right now, there's never going to be any accurate reply. Fluctuated feelings. Like lately, I realised that I have a seriously high potential of a teenage liar. Truly able to keep my pretense an act... But I love the me now. Goshhh, FINA!

Alrightzzzzzzzz, DAAA BLOV-VERS<3

It's peculiar how people just walk in and out of our life. At the present moment, you may think they are always going to be there, forever - forever and always. A few months passes and they aren't even in your life anymore. Something changed, and they only stay in a chapter of your life, their chapter in your life is now over, they are now no one. A whole new chapter begins...everything changes. Nothing stays the same, nothing's ever constant, ever permanent. We're constantly moving in and out of others' lives, jumping from one person to the next and just a new chapter in another person's story... I'd like to remain a main character for once... I wish I could put you in my story once again. I don't understand how you went from my main character to... nothing.

I guess, things can't ever remain constant. That is sometimes why I'm being reminded to make use of time sparingly well.

Alright. Enough of all those dramas. Let's start a proper update.
My Saturday morning was apparently taken away by this year's Honors' Day. However I shall conclude that instead of enjoying another couple more hours in bed, and waking up doing something reallllll boring such as starting on my usual work, I sacrificed those sleep-in-bed hours to a morning fill with things that jusst, hah, just just just cost me a gleeful smile. Thanks to who-else only councillors <3
Mr Soong, who was apparently one of the organising committee members for the 2010 Honors' Day, promised us a McD breakfast today. So I rushed out of home without even bother to made myself a breakfast.
However so, this year's Honors' Day seemed a little bit too dry as I'm doing more of the "ushering" work, which means the bowings and the greetings and all. Fortunately, Ian kept me entertained though :D AWWWW, so niceeeee. HEHE. We talked pretty much on this BGR topic and funny how I seemed to be pouring quite a lot to him lol. Ian, seemed to be a truly honest person I realised. Honestly honest, like seriouslyyyyy. Hahah.
After which we're required to head up to the hall to help in the servings for the refreshments. God, I tell you this, even with me standing at the side of the drink dispenser, some parents just totally snub me off when I asked them, "Coffee or Tea, sir/ma'am?". AH, epic humiliation Fina. HAH. I got tired of being "The Invisible" so I sneak off from my duty and went around taking pictures. LOL. After the crowd of parents and the prize recipients have shown decrease in numbers, hah, all of us, the impatient greedy councillors grabbed for our portion and help ourselves with the leftovers. Cleaning up.. Then, DISMISSED!
Though it was a short 4 hours day with the lovely-as-always councillors, TOLD YA, IT COST ME AN EXPENSIVE JOY. HAHAAAA. I <3 THEM.

KK, BORING LONG POST. SO, I'LL END HEREEE.
DAA BLOV-VERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
MUAH MUAH.

Things are getting tougher and tougher now. Relationships gets more and more complicated, revisions are just stealing your sleeps, school assignments are piling up,  fun&entertainment days with friends are indirectly taken away, fights and quarrels with even your dearest friends now are inevitable. Yet, a higher demand of good quality work from teachers. As always. Sigh. But, what do you expect people? It's SEMESTER 2. THE 4TH WEEK ALREADY. No more time to spare for my lazy thoughts ANYMORE. However, I see myself  procrastinating most of the time. Argh, the disease I believe almost 9/10 of a sane student population is having. I swearrrrr. But sometimes, can't help it, I've got way too much of a work to be completed by that day. Oh, so, does that count as being a procrastinater?
Every now and then it always feel weekdays are just way too draggy and weekend came by too fast. The ratio between study and playtime can never be balanced. So, that just explains why I got so tensed up sometimes. Honestly, really really, who the heck wants to get stressed up if you have just mighty mighty loads of work to be completed...
They say there's nothing in this world that will never cause you sorrow, but you have to find one thing that will cause you sorrow but worth the while.

To I-Hope-You-Know-Its-You,
I miss you. It's undeniable. I can try to avoid it as much as I want, but I can't help aching to have you back whenever you vaguely cross my mind. The worst part probably is that you don't miss me back. I wouldn't be surprised if I never even crossed your mind. Why don't you want me back? What we had was so great. I want to run back to you so badly and confess everything I feel, but I know it's futile. Nothing will change. You won't care. And now the only thing I have left to do is sit here and gruelingly wait for this pain to  p a s s.
Love duh-you-know-who.

Where the hell has happiness been lately? WHY THE HECK DO I SEE SORROWS INSTEAD OF SMILES IN THEIR FACES? WHERE THE BLOODY HECK ARE ALL MY HAPPY FRIENDS?
DEAR best friend,
what happened to you? When in the world did you change? Change into a completely different person I used to know 2 years back? I'm telling you this once and for all - STOP YOUR SILLY IDIOTIC FOOLISH ACT ALREADY. What? You wanna say you fail at love? SHUT UP OKAY. JUST SHUT UP. I fail countless more times than you could ever count with your ten fingers, but never has I, NEVER EVER EVER EVER has I resort to hurting myself like that.
How can you hurt your hand. The hand that doodled OOMA's name all over my science textbook. The hand that helped me craft out the most beautiful priceless one and only wooden craft meant for someone, now I realized totally unworth of. The hand that texted me, almost every day just to make me feel a little better. The hand that caused you to get such high grades. The hand that caused you to get to the best class. The hand that holds mine.  & most importantly, the hand that caught me, when I fell.
Best friend, you're not only hurting your dear self. You're hurting the rest. The rest that equally loves you. I didn't mean to barge in to your love life and starts being The Hero here. I just want you to know that just as one door closes, the other door opens up wide.
I love you, best friend.

If you could measure my life in a graph, oh heck yeah, the results will display fluctuation. Yes, I've been surpassing through A LOT A LOT A LOT of ups and downs lately. It's like my mood can totally sucked for one particular day, and then once I meet my dear councilors, say goodbye to nasty mood. Yeah, like that feeling.

Few nights ago, I kept myself awake, thinking of the things that happened to me lately - with things back at home, in school, the class, how I'm juggling my relationships with my friends, and stuff like that. However, I love the fact that no matter how succccky my day can be, there's just one ouncy mini little things someone can do, turn till all that sucky sucky day completely upside down. & for that, I'm staying a little more happier for that one moment, even though the other 3/4 of my life has been miserably awfully sucky.

You might just be wondering where the heck have I been the past few days for seeing me NOT updating lately. Ohwell, you finally got your doubts clarified. For the fact that, I'm now on a possibly-or-impossible mission to unleashing my leadership potential.

July doesn't necessarily predict the miserable line of my life. Maybe, just maybe... it's a newly adventure carved for me. Because Mr Harriet Beecher Stowe once said that when you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, never give up then, for that is just the time that the tide will turn.

ALRIGHT, NOW I have exactly 9 HOURS TO COMPLETE The Task ( God Max la! ). This is my first ever time planning for a concert. Hope, with the help of the other dear NDP meeting, it'll be a success. This is what I meant by one of the newly adventures I'm in for. Hhah.

I <3 you, BLOV-VERS.

Not being able to help a friend when they're sad, is one of the worst things I can think of. I can only watch and it breaks my heart all those time. 
Oh, I dread Monday. I dread Physics. I dread waves. I dread homework. I dread never-ending lessons. I dread PE. I dread F&N's coursework. I dread short-hours of sleep. GAH, I DREAD LIFE.
This term's sure is moving at a full-speed. God. I made people angry at me because of my selfish thoughts due to this busy scheduleeeeeeeee. :( :( :(

JULY JULY OH JULY. However, I gotta spur on.
I don't want to waste my life in sighs. I really, don't want.

My Saturday finally feels fruitful :D
Mum woke me up at 7. I delayed a lot of times, so I fina-lee decided on settling to wake up by 7. Got ready and mum sent me to Civic. Waited for Liana and the rest to come with Haizan :)
After the registration and all of admin matters all settled, we tour around Causeway before starting to get tired and yearning for a place to just pass time. Finally, we decided on Starbucks♥.
Everything pretty much ended by 11am. Chances of me winning might not be there, but ohwell, I guess I can still say there's a flinch of hope. Well, head home after struggling on borrowing 2 godforsaken library books with Liana.

Initial plan was to rush home to shower, get changed, take all my necessary stuff (ie. laptop etc) and head back to WRL for the English Project. But suddenly, all of the going back to WRL feels tiring. I suggested them to come over instead since there's no guarantee at that period, there'll be any seats left for us, anyway. Plus plus plus, free lunch would be provided. So, haha, a lot of poaching.

Esther came, followed by Hafiz.
Awkward awkward awkward moment when Hafiz finally came. We had the presentation slides partially ready before he arrived. So the awkward, didn't actually turned out awkward eventually. Had a little, mini pour&tell session with them two. God, ranting rages to someone was especially a hard thing to do, but I've got no choice. GOTTA LET IT OUT ALREADY. IT'S BEEN A WEEK, FGS! Then, we did the slides and editing circa an hour plus plus before giving them lunch mum cooked. HEEEEEE. I swear, ESTHER'S ATTEMPT TO WASH THE DISHES: (lol) SO cuteeeeeeeeeee!
Then we continued on with the project and everything. Ohgosshhh, Hafizz seriously vandalized (but this version is but with my permission) my handbook !!!!!!!!!! HAHHAAHAHAAA. Parts of my October's pages were all-mostly, of his drawings. Hah. While he's with that, and Esther with the video-editing, I blasted some musics to break any more awkward silences.
Sadly, Esther had to leave soon since her parents were already waiting for her downstairs. After which, I got a little too restless cause I can't seem to be concentrating on the slides any longer lol. Hafiz: SELF-CONSCIOUS ALERT. Haha.
So my dad told me to go out to the dining table. We end up aborting the project work, and finally decided on what each of us are to do and all and started on A-Math. Coaching Hafiz A-Math, finally made me realized how much I, myself have to brush up too. GOOOH.
Hafiz left at 6.30 and I started eating cum snacking again. Even till now. God, I swearrrrrr. It's like endless eating for the day. Had chicken for breakfast, and another one for supper. How delightful. See if these prolongs for a month, you might see 3 of me-s. LOL. I'll be growing rapidly gah.

Kkk. I guess this should fit for the day. Whoa, finally, a full-length update. Ohyeah :D This week's been hectic enough. I want a simple bliss. At least Saturday brought me. Thanks, Hafiz, Esther <3

KAY, MUM, I'M SLEEPING ALREADY!!! STOP FEEDING ME WITH CHICKENS DAY & NIGHT. AHHHHHHHHH.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.
BEST FRIEND:

I know lately, there's this lack of communication between us. Well, truthfully, it's not even "lack" anymore, its the ABSENCE OF COMMUNICATION. And I'm just telling ya this. I CANNOT, honestly, CANNOT stand your silence/ignorance. Really... cannot at all. If you had questions like who'd do I blame, I admit, it was me that was at fault. I started it all first. I initiate all this sudden silence and tension and everythingggggg. YES, ME ME ME. I know no amount of "sorrys" will ever going be any help now. I really thought you'd be there with me when I want to share this joy. This real joy. But, though you're there , your heart never were. I really have to apologize for this. I really don't mean to keep anything off you. It's just that, at this point of time, I don't think telling you the person is any much more appropriate. Trust me, bestfriend, one day, just one day, you'll understand and know it yourself :D Suddenly, all of the last year's bitter experience is starting to show signs of recurrence. I don't wish for it to happen. YOU'RE MY dear dear dear friend. I'll only be left with half of my heart beating if you're never there to support me through the thick and thins. What that really disappoint me lately is your pessimist attitude and your hypocrite self. Bestfriend, I'm sorry. I REALLY AM :( & Know what, I'd rather you shout, cursed or yelled at me rather than keeping silent like this cause hurtful words hurt feelings, but silence breaks my heart.

Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn’t. You can’t tell your heart what to do. It does it all on its own, when you least expect it, or even when you don’t want it to. It loves who it wants to love, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

& that was just when...

GOD! Save me. I'm really feeling at my worst hours now. It's like everything's going wrong. Heckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Every single dang day, there's always things to rush, things that caused endless disappointments, endless sorrows and sometimes, sudden outrage you realized it was actually stupid to be for, always things that made you hate school so much, that made you hate your stupid life and even things that actually happened that made you... suddenly, just suddenly, hate yourself :( And just when bitter moments came marching into your oh-I-thought-my-life-has-been-perfect-till-now life, when all I wanted was a friend, whom all I asked for is a pair of listening ear, NO ONE WAS THERE. EVERYONE HAS LEFT. Sadly, yes, at just those moments - they left.
Tell me what is not possible not to cry. But, now, who cares about you anymore???  No one will see those sad eyes, the unusual expressions or your fake smiles plastered on your face or even those silent breakdown. NO ONE will everrrrrr everrrrr see. The reason why; happy or sad, smiling or crying, they just won't give a chip to anything, because in the very beginning, we don't even occupy any small fraction of their hearts. And it's just sad cause those were actually the many promises they've made.
Sigh, just bragging about my life already sour this entry's up.
But sometimes, all I need is just that... you. The you somewhere out there. However, things went wrong and there's situations, when stumbles and problems are inevitable, blogging's the best possible way I could think of of letting go.. Still, it's not as effective as telling it to someone who's got the "immediate responses"...

Best Friend (dearrr, BF, you know it's you. Quit asking, and nod your head yes, I'm talking about youuu).
I've got a lot to say. But you won't reply.

I swear, the minute I came home, my mum was the first person I want to hug. For, I know, no matter how many different fights we went through, she'll never stop loving. For no matter how nasty her words could possibly turned out, I knew, deep inside, it's killing her. For no matter what happen, through odds, she'll still love me, all dearly. For, not cause she's my mother, but my hero♥

Today I realized one thing; even if, my friends are all bound to leave me(IF IF IF), even if "The Love of My Life" never sees me, even if they sky turns grey even when it's bright in the morning, even if the world turns upside down, even if, I had to leave everything, I think I'd be happy. If my mum's right there with me, with us. I wouldn't have to think of any other way to get through life without her. OHYEAH. She's THAT important to me. And I love her dearly as much much.

Kay. So. The day? MM, all that I can say is a jar of resentment, a cup of sorrow and a spoonful of joy. YEAHHHHHHHHHHH. For no good reason why, the higher proportionate goes to : a n g e r. Most of the things, angry at myself :@
Tuesday morning usuals. Meeting @ 7. For once, I had all my hopes up to a brand new day. But, :( :( :(, something(s) happened and my heart suddenly initiates to start giving up. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Head home early again today. Reject Sheela's invitation to watch Eclipse today. SORRRRRYYYYYYY LALA. The movie'd most probably end around 7++. And I don't want my first day for the week to have my mum's temperament level go up again, end up reaching home before 3...

Great. Choir tomorrow. Just received a text from Ms Grace. Another thing to worry for. Sigh.

<3!

I've been going through a lot of drama lately, and I just don't know where to start. Seeing my archives, and how long I've not been posting a proper entry, I don't intend on doing in any sooner. Sorry Hafiz.

Honestly, speaking, these past few days, I've been going through a lot(and when I meant a lot, yes, a heckyeah TONS) of emotions. Yes, ranging from being the All-Miss-Sunshine, can automatically, plunged to the All-Miss-Pompadour who cries a lot. That's the pathetic side of my life. True, I agree. It's dear, inevitable. But the saddest thing ever is that the inevitable-s are always unfortunately befalling on me time and again.

Life to me now, seems like its been going through a lot of transactions lately. People come and go, whenever they like. Got sick of sticking to one, they start seeing the other. While at the other end of the world, people are fighting to get just one person to enter their life. Isn't it ironic?

I don’t understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do. How your best friend can become your worst enemy, or how strange it is when your worst enemy turns into your best friend. How forever turns into a few short months that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without. How even though you know something is best for you, it just hurts the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives just because it’s easier than working things out.

Simply ironic.

Sigh, but some people just don't see it....

 I see the trend now. It just seems that love is going all around these days huh? I realized a lot on that part has been in my vicinity lately. From the one who never ever had the taste of it, to those who are actually kinda sick of it already.
Hey, listen. I’m comfortable around you, and these flirt sessions we have pretty much rock, but you have to win my heart, because right now it’s stuck with some jerk who honestly doesn’t deserve it. But I can’t do anything about it right now because I fell harder for him than I did for anybody else, and unless he randomly disappears off the face of the earth one day, my stomach is still gonna drop to my feet when I see him. So, please, win my heart over. 

I hope things are better on your side. I know mine is...
<3 love to all!