I used to know my place was the spot next to you, now I'm searching the room for an empty seat. Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on. Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking.
I'm dying to know if its killing you like it's killing me. I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down. And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.
Next chapter - 
How had we end up this way.  See me nervously pulling at my clothes and  t r y i n g  t o  l o o k  b u s y. And you're doing your best to avoid me. I'm scared to see the ending why are we pretending this is nothing? I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how. I've never heard silence quite this loud.This is looking like a contest, of who can act like they care less. But I liked it better when you were on my side.

Damn. I hate how Taylor Swift's words always explains why. OHM.
___________________________________________________________________________

Noob told me it was my fault. Me being the ego. I don't get it. Why was it always me.
Sometimes, just dang sometimes, I wish I had someone who understands.
OOMA. PVP. EMATH ♥.

I just can't stand it when some people have to butt in to some people's rights. I mean come on. When it comes to queuing up, you'd take special note of the First Come First Serve policy. But what about people's rights? You totally gave a blind eye to it dont you.
Seriously. How selfish could you truly get? It was me first. Truly me first. Why do you have to come in and mess it all over again. You know so much for years of friendship, I gave in. But hey, you've crossed the damn line.
I never really got to enjoy the feeling like you'd always did, but when opportunity strikes and I'd have officially called it mine , girl, you don't just snatch it away.
Subconcsiously, things change, and you continue on being your own innocent self, pretending to not a single damn thing. You had your everything, so why do you have to steal my something to the point that I'm left with nothing. I don't know if I was kind or stupid enough to endure all this. All this shit you're pushing me clean for you.
You had no idea. Just letting you know once and goddamn for all, you just had nooooo idea.
You know I don't hate you. No. Not at all. Not not not never ever ever ever. But I hate the fact that the society don't appreciate this policy anymore. When they think that they can jolly well get anything they'd ever wanted when they were not even the ones that worked hard for. When they don't deserve to. I don't really quite seek for justice and fairness here, but I truly truly truly seek for a favourable understanding. If that is too tough to achieve?
 ______________________________________________________________________

And he just walked passed me and pretend like nothing ever happened. 
Jerk much?  
Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew, knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you.

To the jerks you surely know who you are.
You broke her. You completely crushed her. But she’s smart enough to stop in her tracks, and ask herself why she’s still doing this, and what will become of it. The answer is, she still loves you& always will. But not in the sense of needing you, the ” I would die for you.” way. More in the sense that no matter what, she’s always going to have some sort of feelings for you, and will watch out for you, making sure that you don’t end up hurt, and that you don’t make the same mistakes she made, with you. 
Yours sincerely the girl who got her heart broken.

Woke up at 8.
Sleepy tired. Texted Eugene, like mygodfinally, and some noob who ditched me halfway.
First Choir meeting for next year's plans. Ah.
Headed to RP for discussion.
Hungry stomach. Left home, breakfast-less. Conclusion: starving mode on.
Kept checking on the time for lunch hints.
Walked to CP in the ungodly hot humid weather.
Crowded McD at CP. Change venue to Civic's.
Ate lunch with the ladies + Selena.
Had hecka good time as per usual.
Selena had to inform me that we had to be home by 1.
So turned Sheela's study date and dragged back home.
My day couldn't get any more worst than that.
Waiting for Eugene reply is another thing. Aiiyoo. No one wanted to reply me. Truly. Well, fine, some noob did, but I meant where are all my saviours???????????
Uh. This is heck what you mean by stop expecting.
OKay.
Just when I thought my day could grew a little more worser,
some dude made me happy :D

P.s. Dang it. I just grew another annoying zit. Oh.

Some "noob" wanted me to update my blog. Ahwell;-

Hi noob, I thanked you for constantly checking on my blog for updates but you need to understand that hello, some people don't just say certain things, especially when they are publicly "advertised" sorta thing. But in lieu to your 11-days-since-I-last-read-your-blog, here's a few updates okay. Hope this'll do, noob.

Went out with Esther. Ah, finally. My first official going-out-with-friend day. Had a pretty good time with her. Had trouble finding a decent restaurant to fill in our hungry stomachs so we decided to go for the usuals; McD. Had lunch and toured around Takashimaya all too awed to by stuffs there. I mean mygod la. Too priceyyyyyy for suburbans girls. Intention was to get a good 2011 diary planner but just one mini one cost a bomb. So I'd passed. There were too many pretty stuffs that caught sight of our attention. But sigh, we can't, okay I can't afford double digits dollars for something as small as hair accesories! Mama had kindly gave me 40 bucks for spending. That's not good news. The higher the allowance, the more meticulous should I be spending. I mean there's no way I'm getting that kind of allowance from her again for the next couple of weeks. Though I shan't say the same for the expenditure on F&B. HAHA. I mean come on, foodd, how can you just pass?
Afterwards, we headed to AMK to catch Unstoppable. K, initial plan was to watch The Social Network but the time slot was way too far from then. Bought cookies/muffins 'fore that. Haha. 10 dollars for all. Crazy I know. But heck, who cares. K, let me ask you. Would you rather spent 10 bucks on food that is obviously a guaranteed satisfactory to your stomach or on a freaking toy??? K whatever, I choose the food still.
Movie review. Relatively edge-seating. Uhuh. Fine. Enticing plot. 4.5 stars. Votes for Chris Pine <3.
Our date pretty much ended like that :D

It's NOT okay. I'm not not not fine at all.
So please stop the Fina, you okays.  I just truly don't need that at all.
I'm sorry.

When you have lived almost your entire life being ignored, being second best, you become conditioned to feeling a certain way… feeling useless, ugly, pathetic, worthless. You eventually isolate yourself from the rest of the world. Over time you begin to believe it, so when the day comes that somebody is genuinely nice to you, somebody sincerely cares for you, compliments you, reaches out and touches you… you’re in disbelief, frozen in confusion. It even hurts a fraction to hear and feel such kindness being offered. Even the smallest gestures touch my soul, the smallest kindness will ease my suffering. You can’t even begin to understand what it means to me, to hear a few kind words… because one hundred percent of the time, I feel utterly and irrevocably disgusting in every sense.