Everything inside me hurts. Especially the system that helds your live at every verge, your heart. Thats mere beating every second, even when you go unconscious.

IhateyouIhateyou, okay enough twice said, cause the third time, I might really going to hate you, and I don't hold hatred.
It was always because of you, but you're oblivious to everything, especially that of to me.
I don't want to make decision, because all the previous while, I've made a huge stupid idiotic silly decision everr. I sillyly couldn't contrast between whats a diamond and whats a glass. I've always mislead my future because of this silly sistem working on me, the yet innocence heart.

Do you really think your heart whispers the truths, always?
I used to think so, but not now. Not anymore. My instincts are always wrong. It always kept conveying the vague of its purpose and that left me isolated for a moment in thinking of my decision.
Whether it is or is not, I bother not, anymore.
You're always turn back to me begging for your life's aid, and I've been generously providing you, and thats consecutively.
But when happiness was over on you, you forget everything as if you'd just earthed a milisecond ago. You know I've always been keeping to myself. Telling anyone is equivalent as to hurting myself. Might as well just keep in and only hurt myself.

To my ownself, I am sorry, I have been selfish to you. I can't put innocent cast into my pathetic life plot. That'll make me the world selfish individual. And if anyone hurt because of me, I mighta want to pull that trigger off my brains, without thinking, I'll be ceased to exist.

Even if apparently there are beezillions of wonderful beings out there I could ask for confinement(whatever the spelling was), I couldn't bear to. It'd hurt to share the most painful things. Its okay if me alone's handling the whole situation.

Though my heart is untrustable at the moment, I still have self-understandings, that was a fraction of help to me, I hope.

At least I still have a hope.