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♡ happy hours, i've lost them.
Thursday, July 8, 2010, 11:29 PM
Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn’t. You can’t tell your heart what to do. It does it all on its own, when you least expect it, or even when you don’t want it to. It loves who it wants to love, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

& that was just when...

GOD! Save me. I'm really feeling at my worst hours now. It's like everything's going wrong. Heckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Every single dang day, there's always things to rush, things that caused endless disappointments, endless sorrows and sometimes, sudden outrage you realized it was actually stupid to be for, always things that made you hate school so much, that made you hate your stupid life and even things that actually happened that made you... suddenly, just suddenly, hate yourself :( And just when bitter moments came marching into your oh-I-thought-my-life-has-been-perfect-till-now life, when all I wanted was a friend, whom all I asked for is a pair of listening ear, NO ONE WAS THERE. EVERYONE HAS LEFT. Sadly, yes, at just those moments - they left.
Tell me what is not possible not to cry. But, now, who cares about you anymore???  No one will see those sad eyes, the unusual expressions or your fake smiles plastered on your face or even those silent breakdown. NO ONE will everrrrrr everrrrr see. The reason why; happy or sad, smiling or crying, they just won't give a chip to anything, because in the very beginning, we don't even occupy any small fraction of their hearts. And it's just sad cause those were actually the many promises they've made.
Sigh, just bragging about my life already sour this entry's up.
But sometimes, all I need is just that... you. The you somewhere out there. However, things went wrong and there's situations, when stumbles and problems are inevitable, blogging's the best possible way I could think of of letting go.. Still, it's not as effective as telling it to someone who's got the "immediate responses"...

Best Friend (dearrr, BF, you know it's you. Quit asking, and nod your head yes, I'm talking about youuu).
I've got a lot to say. But you won't reply.