Because truth is, they will always leave. Never stayed. Because they're only our best friends for a moment. Then next they make you seem like a second option. You know what sucks more is knowing and believing that you can actually place your trust on them, and yet they hurt you like crazy now. Once or twice, its negotiable. But if apology accepted time and again and you keep begging for forgiveness, then, I'm afraid I might not be able to build the same trust as were before.
Heck. I’m mad at myself, not you. I’m mad for always being nice. Always apologizing for things I didn’t do, for getting attached, for making you a huge part of my life, wasting time on you, depending on you, thinking about you, wishing for you, dreaming of you, changing for you. And most of all, for not hating you when I know that I should.
You know, I'm not complaining. Just ... telling.
Maybe, just goddamn maybe, it's time to wake up. And tell myself instead that there's not a goddamn soul I can really truly trust. Because sometimes...goddamn sometimes...the sad part is that, you just have yourself to trust.
And you know what, dude. If you think that I'd attempt for giving up before even fighting, heckdangshutthehellup. Because even before I attempt my first try, I got smacked in the brain telling me to back off cause things might just got a little bit more crazier, and the next moment I know, I didn't went berserk, but just the pain penetrates via the goddamn place I call, my heart. And you think I might just proceed in trying to fight for something I know wouldn't even give me a wink of acknowledgment, dude, then you don't know me well and enough. Cause, god knows, I'm through. Might not be thoroughly through, though.
But just know that I'm  t h r o u g h  you.